And it must needs be recorded, lest I forget.
So it all began when my employer, in an act of mercy, let me off work an entire hour early because her sister was over and all the kids were just hanging out. That may not sound like much of a miracle to you, but trust me, if you knew how many hours of unpaid overtime I have put in at that house, you would understand. If any of you within the sound of my voice ever have a nanny, don't be the employer that says: "You don't mind staying another two hours today, do you?" At least, not more than once. Certainly not weekly.
So yeah, I had time to run a bunch of errands that afternoon. Which, oddly enough, I really enjoy. What does it say about me that I still find child-like satisfaction in going to the bank and depositing money in my VERY OWN BANK ACCOUNT? Or buying groceries for my VERY OWN GROWN-UP DINNER? Making payments on my VERY OWN CAR? I know! I'm ridiculous.
That night I had made plans to go out to a movie with this guy I haven't seen in forever. He had texted me that day and described where he lived, but I had tried to drive past it on my way home and couldn't find it. So I texted a mission buddy to ask for directions, and he invited me over. Which sounded like a lot more fun. I figured since the guy had asked me the day of, it couldn't have been that important that I come, yeah? So I told him there had been a change of plans, and watched Lord of the Rings in Hungarian instead.
Saturday was the day of reckoning. Because I work full-time I feel obligated to pack as much fun as I possibly can into my evenings and weekends, and this Saturday I had kinda overextended myself in the planning. But it somehow managed to turn out really well.
In the morning I drove to Antelope Island State Park with Ama and a bunch of other indie kids, because Ama has for years fantasized about floating in the Great Salt Lake, and figured her birthday was a great day to do it. So we ate cupcakes and waded into the Great Salt Lake.
TMI WARNING HERE: BOYS MIGHT WANT TO SKIP
So I was a little freaked out at the prospect of swimming in a lake that was not only salty but filled with brine shrimp. I used to keep sea monkeys in a jar on my desk when I lived in the dorms, but heck if I want any of them crawling on my body, particularly my nether regions. My great fear was that one of them would lodge in my body cavity somehow and I would end up pregnant with a brine shrimp-human hybrid. Sick! Well, that didn't happen. But when we were in the salt lake up to our waists or so, all of a sudden I doubled over in pain ... you know ... down there. I felt like my jay was ON FIRE. I imagine that was the closest I will ever come to a venereal disease. Seriously, it was awful. And I have no idea what caused it. It was throbbing for a while afterwards too, but in the shower on the premises I gave myself the most thorough scrubbing of my life, and I think I'm OK now.
MALES RESUME READING HERE. DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU!
So, floating in the Great Salt Lake is neat because you really do stay afloat without any effort at all. Nathan got some cool video footage of it. But I will never, ever, EVER (understand?) do it again.
I almost forgot about the spiders! I tried for the longest time to find a picture of one of the many, many spiders we saw on Antelope Island, which would do well to rename itself Big Freaky Spider Island. But to no avail. They weren't hobo spiders, and they weren't brown recluses, but I'll tell you what they were:
4. Around 3 inches long
I'm giving up for now, but more on the spider research front as things develop. I really like spiders. Especially the polite ones like these who just sit in their webs and look awesome and don't crawl on me.
Anyway, those suckers were everywhere, except the path. Which makes me think there must be some spider oral tradition about ancestors who were killed by giant brown rocks that seemed to aim for anyone who walked in the flatlands.
After a loooooong quarter shower at the park, we drove home, I dropped off my passengers, and drove straight to Celeste's bridal shower! I was quite late, but that was OK because most of the girls there were boring and brought tupperware. Celeste had explicitly (get it?) requested a kinky wedding shower, so kinky is what she got from me. Observe:
My favorite part is the dice inside. I bought her a pair of panties too, but I won't post a picture on the off chance that my brothers read this blog.
My favorite part of the afternoon was when we were all sharing our favorite embarrassing moments about Celeste.
Haley: The day Richard got back from China, I was home sick for twelve hours, and I had to knock every time I wanted to go in the living room.
Celeste: Well, I hadn't seen him in like a month!
Me, Vilja and Lori: (laughing)
Everyone else: What? I don't get it. (confused looks)
I mean, geez.
Still, it was really fun. I was just glad when everyone else left and Cel tried on the "Officer Frisky" cop outfit that Vilja, Lori and Haley had bought her. There's a a video but I think she might be mad if I posted it.
I love bridal showers.
Later that afternoon we got together for some gatorball. Good times. The weather was fine, the company was also fine (I kinda have a crush on one of Lori's friends that I met at Vilja's wedding ... he was there) and it was an all-around all-American (in an Estonian sort of way) burning of calories.
Then that night Celeste, Lori, Haley and I got dressed up all swanky and went clubbing. When I get a picture of that I'll post it.
We didn't know that the club Cel had picked was
1. 17 and up
2. targeted to an LDS audience
3. hosting Latin night
but that made the whole evening way more fun, and made us look way more swanky and way more white by comparison. Not that I'm proud of being white. But the blond among us sure got a lot of attention. Ha.
So that was my amazing weekend. Yay! I was thinking when I was trying to fall asleep last night, how could anyone ever keep up with me? I mean, I start my day going hiking with indie kids, go to a preppy girl party and eat strawberries, go play a Baltic sport with a bunch of jocks, and then go clubbing dressed as whorish as an RM can and still feel good about herself. I'm like all of the Spice Girls crammed into one crazy person.
Seriously, though, I am really grateful for my high school experience of being in a two-person clique with Cori. She and I moved around all the other cliques at school so comfortably, I have no problem finding common interest with any type of person. I don't see my Saturday as contradictory at all. Merely awesome. I wish I could find a guy who could do all that stuff with me. Dirty South dancing and rock shows? Temple trips and art museums? Running and Disney movies? Hiking and shopping?
I suppose the shopping is too much to ask. But I don't know if I'll ever find a guy that interesting. Darn it.