30 September, 2008

Me, Katharine, and Isabel

My whole family puts a lot of bloody stock in horoscopes. My Dad, even as a member of the church, frequently laughs at me and my "typical scorpio ways." For those of you who don't know what that entails, it means I'm prideful, passionate, suspicious, obsessive, and overly defensive. Yeah, whatever, stars.

I have always considered a lot of that "personality stuff" like the color test, blood type personalities, and whatnot to be a modern sort of voodoo, and worth about as much respect. Not to mention I have always believed that people identify with what they are conditioned to identify with, so if you see a horoscope that says something vague and universal like, "you feel strongly about the things you feel strongly about" of course you're going to think "OH MY GOSH! THAT"S SO ME!" before thinking hey, doesn't everybody feel that way? Then I moved in with Celia, whose boyfriend has more faith in this MBTI than I have in gravity, climbing equipment, and the innate goodness of mankind. Possibly combined.

From Wikipedia:

"The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) assessment is a psychometric questionnaire designed to measure psychological preferences in how people perceive the world and make decisions. [...] The original developers of the personality inventory were Katharine Cook Briggs and her daughter, Isabel Briggs Myers. They began creating the indicator during World War II, believing that a knowledge of personality preferences would help women who were entering the industrial workforce for the first time identify the sort of war-time jobs where they would be 'most comfortable and effective'."

On one hand, it does my heart good to know the MBTI was made by women, ostensibly to help women. I inherently trust female psychologists more, both because I am also a woman and because I tend to assume women know what they're talking about when it comes to feelings (leaving myself as the obvious exception).

So I'm preconditioned to want to believe in this stuff, but at the same time, Nathan's investment in it kinda freaks me out. I mean, you can't honestly base a decision like who to live with or who to marry on a four-letter permutation, can you?

Let's dig a little deeper, shall we.

The other day I met another one of Cel's friends who is invested in MBTI to the point of writing a book about it. Possibly his doctoral thesis. I'm fuzzy on the details. I don't remember how this came up, but Cel at some point turned to him and asked, about me, "So what is she?" What ensued was easily one of the most awkward, yet coolest conversations of my life. After 24 hours, Alex looked into my eyes (sounds weird, but apparently that was a dealbreaker/dealmaker of some sort) and pronounced me an INFP.

Initially, I was pissed that this dude I had just met was making all these crazy assumptions about who I am and what my priorities in life are. But for someone who had just met me, he was pretty spot-on. He kept tricking me, the devil. For example, one point of the conversation went something like this:

Me: I tested 100% on the J .
A: That means you want to be a J. But you're really a P.
Me: (feel momentarily stupid, then indignant) What are you talking about? You don't know me!
A: Ha! Ps don't like to be labeled.
Me: (foiled again ... silent)

Apparently my new friend is a local celebrity of sorts, and lots of people (well, let's face it, lots of women ... a contributing factor could be that this guy is pretty easy on the eyes) look to him as a sort of guru for relationships. That would annoy the heck out of me (I can barely handle my roommates' drama, let alone the drama of every chick in Provo), but he doesn't seem to mind being hounded by people with questions about whether an introverted feeler would work with an extroverted thinker jingle jangle. He really wants to help. It blows my mind. But I think the big reason behind the investment people make in this, and Alex's rock-star status, is that the MBTI is pretty convincing. I am, partially mind you, but still, convinced that it has merit.

According to this fairly legit-seeming website, an INFP has the following characteristics:

--quiet (by nature, yes. in practice, no.)
--creative (I like to think so)
--sensitive (sometimes to my detriment)
--perceptive (it even says so in my patriarchal blessing!)
--often seem shy (why I have so few second dates)
--deeply committed to causes and relationships (ask my mom about my picketing phase)
--guide their behavior by their value system (yeah, OK)
--deeply religious (once I found the right religion)
--like privacy (yup)
--a perfectionist (ask my mission president ... poor man)
--unduly preoccupied with finding a soulmate (I don't want to talk about it)

OK. I identify with all of that. Especially the part about balancing privacy with wanting a deep, committed relationship. And the part about seeming shy. But to make my research a little more effective, I decided to look up my opposite: the ESTJ. And here is what we found:

--tend to do things out of a sense of duty (I am terrible at that ... which is reason number 5678 why BYU is so hard for me)
--good memory (I do have that)
--natural leader (not really)
--can be manipulative (I don't think I'm like that)
--good at strategy, often win at games (I only win at Candyland, which is based on luck or, in my case, cheating)
--law-abiding (again with the rules thing. I suck at rules. Which is why I am a stellar cougar. And why I always cheat at Candyland.)
--loyal (I do identify with that)
--bad listener (nope)
--"Would make a great military commander" (Pfttt hahahahahaha)
--Have difficulty forgiving people (hmmm ... yeah)

In summary, there must be some merit to this test because unlike a horoscope, I don't identify with each one based on my mood. Supposedly, my "perfect match" is an ENFJ, an guy not as shy as me and whose head isn't as far in the clouds. I can see that. Maybe I will try and find one of those this time around, instead of the type I've been going for lately: JERKs. Those just don't jive with me! I'm sorry! It could never work!

In case you didn't catch that, I was making fun of Nathan. All in good fun. I'm going to have to keep thinking about this, though. I couldn't make this the foundation of my life without some real thought. And reading the Book of Mormon. Wait, what?

27 September, 2008

This is real.

Here are some things I have been thinking about lately.

I got the job at the MTC. That is neat, but what it really means, as I said earlier, is that they will call me when there is an opening. They had one not too long ago, but then it was filled by a former teacher who decided to come back. I had scheduled an interview quite long time ago, then cancelled it for a job interview I thought I wanted more. The interview (with BYU Broadcasting) had gone so well I assumed it was a shoo-in--she had even said "when you work here" the whole time, using the future tense as opposed to the potential mood. I left some writing samples with her and I think that must have been what turned her off. She struck me as a repressed, conservative type, and I think one of the pieces of writing was about something vaguely political? I don't remember for sure, but I am convinced that is what did it. I offended her with my writing. Not that I'm sorry about that. Anyway, I wonder if I shouldn't have cancelled that initial MTC interview, and then maybe I would have gotten the job. Then Grady falls asleep in my arms, and I think, eh, screw it. All I want is my babies. Even at eight dollars a freakin hour, I want to stay with my babies.

If the MTC calls, I will take the job, because I felt so strongly that I needed to apply there. But that will probably not be for a long time, if ever.

The SEGO festival was this weekend, and it was pretty fun. I am glad it is over. I spent a great deal of my own money on last-minute necessities (but not nearly as much as Ama did, so I have no right to complain) so I do not feel obligated to donate to the SEGO festival fund this year or next year. Well, maybe next year, if I have a better job. I am very happy that the SEGO festival is over now. It was fun, mind you, but now Ama can smile again, and we can all sleep.

I could happily live the rest of my life eating cheesy bread. Assuming I could do that without becoming anemic or fat.

Today Bryan repelled from the second-story balcony and I wanted to kill him.

The End.

Oh yeah, and I'm getting a dog.

His name is Shadow, but that is pretty much the name of every black dog in existence, and I'm not crazy about it. I'm trying to think of a name that ends in O, but is cool. Ideas so far include Milo, Kilo, Benno, and Shiloh. Others?

19 September, 2008

A List of Lies

With a nod to topher, my blog hero.

1. In case you are wondering, my very favorite kind of music is pop punk like The All-American Rejects. The lead singer has such a great singing voice! I mean wow! And they write about real things that really speak to where I am right now.

2. My favorite foods include: potato chips, Slim Jims, beef jerky (especially homemade! Yum yum!), anything from Teryaki Stix (totally authentic!) and Adventures in Deep Frying.

3. Know who is super sexy? Ben Stiller. OMG! And he's sooooo funny. LMAO!

4. I feel like I don't have enough to do right now. Feeling kinda bored ... maybe I should take on a new project of some sort?

5. I love it when Toby pees on my bed. Talk about cute!

16 September, 2008

Assorted Links

1. A great episode of Stuff Mormons Like. How true, how true.

2. NPR's This I Believe is good every week, but this one is really worth sharing. As the sister and most likely future mother of adopted children, this really struck a chord in me.

3. Silly Reason, a well-done blog by the brother of a friend of mine, all about the el-ec-tion. Or rather, mostly about how John McCain gives both him and me nightmares.

4. AIG puts out ads???? Who knew? It's actually pretty funny.

5. The Love Poem Project. Friends, do not be deterred by its name. Hilarious.

15 September, 2008

Will someone please explain this joke to me?

I found this on the freakonomics blog. I'm no economist, but I rarely have nay trouble understanding what they write about. This, though. What could it possibly be referencing?

"A middle-aged man realizes that he has been quite neglectful of his son, so he attempts to make it up to his son on his 25th birthday. He goes to his son and says “Son, I’m so sorry for ignoring you and being a poor father. I’d like to make it up to you. Name anything you want for your birthday and you shall receive it.” The son pauses for a moment, then replies “I’d like 10,000 green colored golf balls.” The father is puzzled, but says “You’ve got it.” So, the son gets 10,000 green colored golf balls.

Several years later, after hearing news that his son has brought him a grandson, the father, again overcome by guilt at ignoring his son, goes to him again and says “Son, I know I haven’t gotten better, but I’d still like to make it up to you. What would you like to celebrate this wonderful occasion?” The son again pauses for a moment, then replies “I’d like 10,000 green colored golf balls.” The father is even more puzzled, and asks “But why?” The son simply says “I’d like 10,000 green colored golf balls.” The father again obliges.

Many years later, the son is involved in a horrible car accident, and is too injured to recover. The father rushes to the hospital to see his dying son one last time. Kneeling next to him, the father says “Son, I’m so sorry that I was such a bad father. I’ve tried to patch things up, but never did enough. What is it, of all things, that you’d like?”

The son pauses for a moment, and replies “I’d like 10,000 green colored golf balls.” And dies."


08 September, 2008

Oh, Sondre Lerche ... thanks collin

Here is one of the songs I really like from the Dan in Real Life soundtrack. Props to Collin for teaching me how to do this.
Let My Love Open the Door

Completely Random List

1. I am being considered for a job at the MTC. That just means that when a space opens up (1 of 4 Hungarian teachers), they may or may not call me in for a final interview, then hire me. I'm not holding my breath for anytime soon. I'm staying at my nanny job until then. Which could be a while. But I'm actually OK with that.

2. I met this AMAZING guy this weekend. The only problem is he is probably too good to be true. How could anyone that chivalrous and creative and cool not be gay? We'll see what happens. No one seems too interested in hearing about my latest heartbreak-to-be, so I'll probably write some sort of post about that at some point.

3. My new favorite movie = Dan in Real Life.

4. I even bought the soundtrack because it was so amazing. Peter Hedges' movie soundtrack's are unbelievable.

07 September, 2008

My Favorite Hymns

There is a primary song that I will never forget, because ever since I was a very young child, I have had a terrible habit of swearing. I remember when I was about six thinking that the word "bullshit" was just something you said when you disagreed with someone, seeing as I heard it from my dad so often. This did not endear me to my kindergarten teacher.

If on occasion you have found
Your language is in question,
Or ugly thoughts come to your mind,
Then here’s a good suggestion.

Just hum your favorite hymn,

Sing out with vigor and vim,
And you will find it clears your mind.
Hum your favorite hymn.

I really tried to get out of this habit when I was preparing for my mission, and I did a pretty good job, aside from a few blunders that I will only tell you about if you ask. Anyway, I thought I would share with the five people who read my blog (love you, Mom):

My Favorite Hymns

This was the first hymn I memorized as a kid, I believe for some primary program.

9. All Creatures of Our God and King
I love animals. I love the word "alleluia." And I love love love St. Francis of Assisi.

8. A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief
I remember the first time I heard this song as a teenager. I was in tears by the end. And this songs always reminds me of Joseph Smith, and his compassion towards others.

7. God Moves in a Mysterious Way
The music in this hymn is haunting. And I love the lyrics. It was Wilford Woodruff's favorite hymn, and I have always liked him.

6. Praise to the Lord, the Almighty
I love the music of this one. I wish I knew enough about music to explain why. I love how grand it sounds.

5. Press Forward, Saints
Not only does this song contain my favorite word (alleluia) but it was also written by my favorite professor of all time, Marvin K. Gardner.

4. How Gentle God's Commands
Always a good reminder. I love these words.

3. I Know That My Redeemer Lives
The old standby. But the reason why it's so popular is: this song is amazing.

2. That Easter Morn
I know this is an Easter song, but I sing it all year long. Gorgeous.

1. I Stand All Amazed
When I was little, I thought it was sad how hard the author was on himself. Then I grew up and realized how unworthy I am, and how amazing the Atonement is. That Christ was willing to suffer for me, a prideful, irritating, hypocritical jerk. That is really something wonderful.

05 September, 2008

I'm glad I served a mission

I was talking to Weenie tonight about the weird transition from missionary to civilian, and she said something I found significant.

"I'm pretty much the same person I was before,"she said. "except a lot more blessed, and a lot more confident."

I realized something very interesting just then. Because of my mission, it is so much easier for me to talk to people now. I am so much friendlier. I'm even better at flirting.

Counter intuitive, no? But oh so igaz. I can think if a dozen examples from just today. I was standing at the printer in the library, waiting for the kid in front of me to finish printing the longest PowerPoint presentation in the history of mankind. He was cute in an all-American ultra-heterosexual kind of way. Before my mission I wouldn't have even made eye contact. But utilizing my super-fantastic boss radical mission powers, I struck up a conversation.

"I'm streeting him," I thought to myself. "Eh, who cares? He likes it! Sha la la la ..."

After one of my classes got out, I was walking down the hallway, eating an apple. I walked pass a cute granola-type guy, who was also eating an apple. I winked at him. You and me, we like eating apples. Ridiculous, I know. But harmless. And it was fun.

Don't even get me started on the kid in my geology class.

*pats self on back*

Whoops. Or rather.

*high fives God*

I believe in a God who gives high fives.

03 September, 2008

ten things I love

10. Leggings. Modest, cute, and tunic-friendly. Sign me up!
9. The Beatles.
8. Pixar and everything they have ever created. I just know that someday they are going to let me down. I'd rather not think about that day, thanks.
7. Purses.
6. Shoes. Shut up!
5. Quarters. Why does a quarter still feel like a lot of money to me?
4. John the Baptist. Great guy.
3. Naked mole rats. I love them because nobody else does. And they really are cute.
2. Mayonnaise. Yummy.

1. Grapes.

Exchanging frequent for epic/awesome

Sorry I haven't written in a while, guys. I moved into my new house, and it took awhile to get internet set up, my brother was in town, I had to get lots of stuff together for school, I went to Seattle .... blah blah blah.

I started school today. It was incredible. Man, I love school. No lie. For me, the beginning of the school year is the real new beginning for me. It's when all my past important years have begun and end. And thus, I present to you my NEW YEAR"S RESOLUTIONS!!!!

1. Get back into a productive habit of scripture study. This includes both writing in my other blog but also studying with a concrete purpose in mind, like I did on my mission. I have gotten in the bad habit of reading just so i can say I've read that day. That's bad.

2. Visit teach. Um, haven't done that in like months. I've made some half-baked attempts, but none have gone through. I'm a terrible person.

3. Quit spend so mind mindless time on the internet reading worthless stuff like this. And this. And even that. Reading about random minutiae has yet to take me anywhere so far. Won't take me places in the future either. Except perhaps a game show, which I would never appear on anyway because I hate the way I look on camera.

4. Speaking of being fat, work out more. Go running, and possibly join a gym this month. I think the favorable effect on my looks would be worth the money. Speaking on a level of necessary (pragmatic?) shallowness.

Can there be levels of shallowness? I don't know. Be quiet.

5. Find ways to practice Hungarian that don't involve:
a. Hungarian friendster-esque questionable websites.
b. moving to Hungary (can't afford it right now)
c. dating someone from my mission.

I added c only because my attempts so far have proved dismal. But perhaps I will change my tune in seven weeks. Stay tuned!

6. Curb my grape habit. They're getting expensive.

7. Eat more iron. With lots of vitamin C to aid absorption.

8. Take my vitamins. Once I get them out of Aisling's apartment.

9. Settle my debts. Well, my minor ones to Bryan, Ama and the library. My student loan people can go ahead and shut it.

10. Add more pictures to my ridiculous blog.