The kind of woman I want to be is:

"The woman of the future, who is really being born today, will be a woman completely free of guilt for creating and for self-development. She will be a woman in harmony with her own strength, not necessarily called masculine or eccentric or something unnatural. I imagine she will be very tranquil about her strength and her serenity, a woman who will know how to talk to children and to the men who sometimes fear her... The woman of the future will never try to live vicariously through the man, and urge and push him to despair, to fulfill something that she should really be doing herself. So that is my first image -- she is not aggressive, she is serene, she is sure, she is confident, she is able to develop her skills, she is able to ask for space for herself."

Anais Nin, 1976, quoted in this article.

Also this:

Cake - Short Skirt/Long Jacket (Official Music Video). Watch more top selected videos about: Cakes

The Perfect Vagina

The perfect vagina from heather leach on Vimeo.

Remember a few years ago when it seemed like everyone and their mom was getting a bikini wax? I thought it was weird that the current standard of beauty for women's genitals is apparently to look as prepubescent as possible. I still think that's weird. Clearly I don't watch enough porn.*

Anyway, so on Mormon Therapist the other day I found a link to this documentary which details an even disturbinger new trend: VAGINA PLASTIC SURGERY.

I repeat: PLASTIC SURGERY FOR YOUR VAGINA.**

And in this case we're not talking about women with birth defects or harrowing trauma from a vaginal birth gone wrong, or a Frida Kahlo-esque freak accident. We're talking about women who feel insecure enough about the size or shape of their clitoral hood or labia minora to be willing to be PAY TO HAVE SOMEONE TO CHOP IT OFF.

This is not cool, you guys.

This documentary has some graphic imagery, but if you can handle it, please watch it. It has a pretty empowering message. Also, British slang.

*or any porn. Let's be honest.

**specifically, surgery on the clitoris and labia, not on the vagina itself. I am keeping with lexical trends in using the word "vagina" to mean "the female genital area."

P.S. I am pretty excited to see what google searchers will be directed to my blog because of this site. VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA VAGINA.

Post-2010 Report

It's common for bloggers to take stock of their lives at the end of the year and write about their goals, hopes, etc for the upcoming. I am not going to do this because 1. 2010 kinda sucked and 2. 2011 is shaping up to be AWESOME but I don't want to jinx it.

However, it is quite important for me to take stock of my reading every year, so here are some graphs. I read 67 books this year, which is pretty good considering none of them were assignments for school, but pales in comparison to rock stars such as Janssen. As you can see, my split between kids/YA/adult books was reasonably even, with all three genres represented, although I showed a strong leaning towards books written for adults. This is because I am an adult.

NOTE: sometimes, it is hard to determine if a book is a children's book or a YA book. Obviously picture books are meant for children, but some chapter books can be kind of nebulous. I used a mathematically proven algorithm known as "thinking about how old the protagonist is and whether the book has adult themes, then guessing."

Clearly, I show a strong preference for fiction over non-fiction.

Shockingly, most of the books that I read, I liked. Spoiler alert--two of the books I did not like were Twilight. Additionally, contrary to popular belief, I do not ONLY read comic books.

This may or may not have been interesting to anyone who is not me.

The rest of the 2010 books!!!!

The Big Kahn by Neil Kleid

This graphic novel is about the son of a Jewish Rabbi whose last name is Kahn, who turns out to have a compelling secret: he is a former grifter who was not born into the Jewish faith! A CON artist! Con? Kahn? Get it?

Sorry about that. Aside from this books puntacular title, it was really, really good. I liked how they focused equally on the religious faith and the religious culture and how both of those draw and repel people at different stages of their lives. I think my Mormon readers will find a lot of parallels. Especially with the role of gossip in even the most high-minded religious communities.

Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins

The thing I am really proud about is that I read this book without buying it or getting it from the library or borrowing it from a friend. I read the first section at Borders, the second at Third Place Books and the third while I was baby-sitting for a friend after the kids were asleep. Bam!

This means I had heard some spoilers by my hardcore friends who finished the book the first week it came out, but it didn't ruin the experience for me. I was relatively satisfied by the romance, although I wish the ending had been less abrupt. Nevertheless, the whole series is kick-ass. I hope the movie doesn't suck too bad.

Gooney the Fabulous by Lois Lowry

Another Gooney Bird book for the K-2 set. I find these books fun and age-appropriate but sometimes I get a little bored. However, I stand by my statement that Lowry is a genius. It's not her, it's me. One thing that really hits home with these books is how realistic the kids dialogue is. They sound like real kids. It's great.

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

I have started this book a million bajillion times and finally, FINALLY succeeded in finishing it. I actually liked it a whole lot. I found that the varying levels of compatibility between various partners was realistic, rather than an attempt to snag everyone a husband before the story ends, which is how a lot of the (versions of the) movies sometimes seem. There is a guy in my ward who totally reminds me of Mister Collins. That is all.

Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman

This book is part of my Banned Books Project. I guess it's not a surprise that this book gets some people's hackles up, but honestly, kind of like Daddy's Roommate, to me it seemed pretty tame, even boring. But maybe that's because it's easy for me to think of families with homosexual parents being just like families with heterosexual families BECAUSE THEY ARE. These books do a good job driving home the point that homosexual parents love their kids and do normal household things just like any parent, but at this point I think we're past that. Stories about homosexual families need to start being actual stories, not just focusing on the one difference that doesn't actually make their family that different.

I read a newer edition that had edited out a small section about how Heather was conceived. I'll try to find an original edition one of these days.

The Outcasts of 19 Schuyler Place by E. L. Keonigsburg

I really like this author, she has written several Newberry Award books, which is a pretty big deal. I listened to this book on tape and I got REALLY EXCITED because the two main adult characters are Hungarian and they use several Hungarian words in the text!! The book was read aloud by Molly Ringwald (??) and she tried her darndest to pronounce the Hungarian correctly, but sometimes failed.

That aside, this is a really fun story, keeps you guessing the whole time. The main character is a really funny kid with a super entertaining voice. Nice message too, about accepting differences instead of rejecting them.

Maus 1: My Father Bleeds History by Art Spiegelman

This is one of the few graphic novels with a non-superhero theme that I was aware of as a child. Never got around to reading it until now, though. I am hooked. It's an incredible story. Moving and honest. Not that I didn't know this before, but holy crap the Holocaust was brutal.

Certain Girls by Jennifer Weiner

Jennifer Weiner was one of my favorite novelists when I was in high school. Now that I'm older, I can recognize that her writing doesn't exactly reinvent the wheel, but her stories are still really inventive and fun. I think her work is pretty representative of the "beach book" genre, which isn't meant as a criticism at all.

This book was a sequel to Good in Bed, which was her first novel. Like I said, I enjoyed it, except my favorite character dies at the end. That's not a spoiler because you don't know who my favorite character is. Ha!

Understood Betsy by Dorothy Canfield Fisher

I have heard of this book before, but I read it because I have a Kindle app on my phone and you can download a lot of "classics" for free. I love free. Also, it was a quick read and I was able to finish it in one plane ride while Carlos was sleeping.

I assumed this was a period piece, but it was actually written in 1916 so it was actually just writing about that time period! The story is about a coddled Victorian orphan named Elizabeth Ann who lives with her overprotective aunt and cousin. When her cousin becomes ill and needs to go to the seashore (remember when that's what sick people got to do? I wish I could have been sick back then) Elizabeth goes to live with her other cousins who live on a farm in Vermont. They are not only awesome but teach her that she is capable of much more than she thought--she walks to school alone, takes care of the farm and tutors younger students in her one-room schoolhouse. She also takes the nickname Betsy.

Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk

This is a really good book, but guess what? The movie follows the plot of the book amazingly well and is actually better. I think the book is still worth reading, but it kinda blows my mind that I find the film adaptation more effective. What's next, processed food tasting better than real food? Oh, what a world, what a world ...

The only problem with the movie is that I think a lot of the people missed the fact that the whole thing is satire. The book makes that a lot more clear. It also makes the big reveal (you know what I'm talking about) a lot more obvious than the movie does, which is a bummer.

Also, get a newer copy of the edition with the forward/afterward that talks about fight clubs cropping up at BYU. What the what?

A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens

I finally read this! It is the first Dickens novel that I have actually finished (Sorry Mr. Berkbigler, I didn't finish Oliver Twist--it sucked). It's short enough to be a Christmas tradition if you like that sort of thing. And it's a great read. Here is what I learned from this book:

1. A lot of modern brushes paint Scrooge as selfish, but the weird thing is he doesn't even spend his money on himself. He just hoards it. This is not what most rich Americans do.

2. A Muppet Christmas Carol was shockingly faithful to the original and even used a number of direct quotes from the text.

3. Accordingly, I can ONLY picture Ebenezer Scrooge as played by Michael Caine. This takes nothing away from my reading experience, however. I think it adds to it.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

This book moved me so much I not only cried, but I was depressed that it was over. I was also depressed because the book was kind of depressing. I can't explain why because that would give too much away. There are so many books about introverted awkward teenagers. I wish I had known about all of them when I was an awkward, introverted teenager.

Even if you never were, you should read this book.

In Odd We Trust by Dean Koontz

Another graphic novel, this one of the supernatural-crime genre. Apparently Dean Koontz is kind of a big deal in the non-graphic novel world, but I had never heard of him before this. Apparently this series continues in various novel/graphic novel forms, but I may or may not pick it up. This story was entertaining enough--Odd Thomas is a guy who sees dead people who uses his supernatural powers to solve murder mysteries--but I wasn't completely enthralled like I was with masterpieces of the genre like V for Vendetta. There are just a lot of books out there. And I am pretty busy, OK?

Books I Have Read in 2010, part one

I have gotten really, really far behind in this whole "keeping track of all the books I read" thing. But since I'm homebound and sick and got nothing else/better to do, here you go. These are the first ten.

Stop Forgetting to Remember: the Autobiography of Walter Kurtz by Peter Kuper

Another autobiographical graphic novel I found whilst browsing aimlessly at the library. Kuper mixed it up a bit by making it an autobiography not of himself, but of a fictional person who happens to have had a very, very similar life to his. Wink. The whole book is like a very long version of one of those "this happened to a friend of mine" stories that you hear at parties. Sometimes even in Sacrament Meeting!

I am like 95% sure one of the stories I heard in my most recent Sacrament Meeting was one of those. Anyway.

An autobiographical graphic novel kick is for sure a good kick to be on, and this is a good one, even though it technically breaks the most crucial convention. It's still powerfully honest, and breaks the fourth wall in really cool ways. It's not often that one finds a magical-realism-infused book about parenting and male friendship that still manages to be so touching. I feel like now that I have read this book, I totally understand men. NOT.

Going Rogue: An American Life by Sarah Palin

I decided recently that it's really important for me to read the books of the people with whom I disagree most vehemently, because I want to make sure that I sincerely disagree with their ideas and not just a straw man version of them. Which is often what people I dislike do, argue against ideas they claim their opponents have instead of their actual ideas. But I digress.

I disagree pretty heartily with most of what Sarah Palin says, does, is, represents. After reading her (albeit heavily ghostwritten) memoirs, I can now say with a certainty that I wasn't just imagining things. I really do disagree with her, even dislike her as a person, which is too bad. Someone who reviewed this book on Slate described this book as a "1000 page paean to willful ignorance." That pretty much sums it up.

The thing that really, really bothers me about Sarah Palin, more than her trumped-up claims about her governmental experience, more than her sick parading of her kids for the press, and more than her irritating lack of diplomacy, was that multiple times in her book she claimed that as a child she was a "bookworm" and "a nerd" who spent all her time reading.

First of all, no way could any well-read person have the stunted vocabulary and incomprehensible syntax that Palin seems almost proud of. Secondly, Palin claims that her favorite books are Animal Farm and The Pearl. AKA two of the shortest books on any middle school teacher's required reading list. She makes no mention of any book longer than the two aforementioned. Please. Bookworms read books. You can't spend decades reading and only have those two (very good, let me be clear) books on your hit list.

If Sarah Palin is a nerd, then I'm prom queen. I really feel very strongly about this. You can't grow up as a superstar teen and then try to play your past as a brainy outcast so you seem relatable. Can't have it both ways, sister.

I better stop because I keep getting angrier and angrier at Sarah Palin.

My Rotten Life: Nathan Abercrombie, Accidental Zombie by David Lubar

Carlos and I listened to this on CD while we were driving to and from Spokane the week before my birthday. It was a fun, fast-paced book, meant for about Carlos' age group. It took a few cues from Harry Potter (likable everyman hero, goofy-but-loyal best friend, genius female sidekick) but was still reasonably original. Also played around with the ideas of zombiehood in some interesting ways.

The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katharine Paterson

Another one from the Banned Books List. Another strong piece from Ms. Paterson. It's about a little girl who has been in foster care for most of her life and is (understandably) angry at the world and slow to trust anyone. Of course, she gets taken in by a diverse cast of characters and comes to love them. That part was predictable. The ending was not. Really good book.

Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by Dr. Sue Johnson

It's kind of embarrassing to admit that I read this, especially since it wasn't for any project or goal. I read it because Natasha Parker of The Mormon Therapist recommended Hold Me Tight as a good book about relationships and she is my favorite Mormon blogger and speaks a lot of truth. Anyway, this book had some very interesting ideas about attachment theory as it related to adult relationships rather than just parent-child relationships. I think she is pretty spot-on. This would be a good book to get on your Kindle so nobody in public would know you were reading it.

A Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Newton Peck

I thought this book was a true story until I finished it. As it turns out, it sounds like it was kinda one of those "Walter Kurtz" type deals where the author writes a book about a main character with his name and his exact life even though it is supposedly fictional. There is a really graphic description of a pig being slaughtered which made me really sad, but is apparently super accurate, so I can maybe understand why this book was banned. But I think the story is really important, and taught me a lot about Shaker life, a religion I knew very little about beforehand.

Gooney Bird and the Room Mother by Lois Lowry

Another of Lowry's books for younger children. Super cute. Would be great to read to a K-2 class. Reveal at the end caught me totally off guard. I like it when books do that.

The Willoughbys by Lois Lowry

This book reminded me of Lemony Snicket's sense of humor. By which I mean it was awesome. It is also a about smart orphans and dumb adults. I would totally read this to a 4-6 class.

Cancer Vixen by Marisa Acocella Marcello

Yup, another autobiographical graphic novel. By a woman! Exciting!

I think I am going to send a copy of this to my mom because it's about beating cancer and that's what she did.

Sometimes I have a hard time relating to stories, most of which are by women, where the main plotline is like "I was super rich and sexy and glamorous and then this super-hard thing happened to me and now I know what's really important and I brought a turkey dinner to Bob Cratchit's house!" Mostly because I am neither rich nor sexy nor glamorous. But whatevs. This is still a really good book. It makes me wish I knew more Italians (shout out to ma Pearce girls).

Strangers in Paradise, book 1 by Terry Moore

Do you like lesbian-homoerotic-crime-thriller-graphic novels????

Me too. Here is a book that may interest you.

Not really much else to say about this ... I had no idea what it was about when I started (aimless library browsing once again) and by the time I realized that the love triangle was two chicks and a dude, I was like, but what's gonna happen when the mafia finds out? And I had to finish it.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Also, this book is one of very few books where one of the main characters is an overweight woman and the essence of her characters is not TO BE AN OVERWEIGHT WOMAN. She has a role outside of that. Know what I mean?

Anyone need cheering up?

This should do it. Delightful.

It took me a second ... wait ... how do I know that voice ... JOHN RATZENBERGER!!

I was a little young for Cheers, OK?

SO MANY 2010 BOOKS

In honor of Banned Books Week,which just wrapped up on Friday, please read one of the books on this list. Seriously, it has something for everyone.

And now, more of the books I have read this year.

It's Superman! by Tom Dehaven

I found this completely by accident whilst browsing at the library (Shut up, I'm awesome). I didn't think to check the copyright until I was finished (2005?), but it clearly owes at least some debt to the television shows Smallville and more importantly Lois and Clark: the New Adventures of Superman--the other Superman origin stories. It basically tells the backstories of Lois Lane, Lex Luther and Clark Kent, via a non-comic book character named Willie, who interacts with all of them and sort of ties the story together. The writing was brisk and exciting, and the characters were a really great mix of overall believable (despite the fact that Superman is often seen as one of the more "flat" superheroes) and historically accurate (Dehaven chose to set the book in the 1930s). Also, didn't we all secretly hope that Clark Kent had spent a few years as a train-hopping hobo during the Depression? I know I did.

Magic Trixie by Jill Thompson

I bought this at Golden Age Collectables pretty much on a whim. At the register, the extra-geeky female cashier in a witch hat got really excited and said "Oh! I love these books! I bought the entire series for my niece!"

I wasn't quite sure what to expect from a graphic novel aimed at very young children, but I absolutely loved it. Magic Trixie is a young witch from a family of witches who goes to a Hogwarts-esque school, where her classmates are a werewolf, a zombie (but a very CUTE zombie), a mummy, and a vampire. It's a credit to Thompson's skill as an illustrator that all of the characters are totally adorable, but not in an overtly Disney-ish way.

This first book in the series is about Magic Trixie's angst about her brand new baby sister, and her feeling like she is always either too big or too little to do something. It has a charming, kinda moralizing ending (but hopefully not so moralizing that kids would see through it ... I don't think they would, at least). Yay for families, basically. I plan to buy the rest for my future children.

Fun House by Alison Bechdel

This is another one of those books that I loved and identified with so much that I'm worried I won't be able to do it justice. Bob recommended this book to me and I bought it the last time I was in Pike Place (and thus Golden Age Collectables). I read it in a day and a half. It was that gripping. The story follows Alison through her childhood in a small town with her distant, abusive father, who later turns out have spent her childhood having affairs with men. Some of them were his students from the school where he worked as a high school teacher. Compounding her confusion is her realization as an adult that she is gay. It's a really depressing premise (at least the pedophile dad part), obviously, but her voice is so heartfelt and humorous and honest that I didn't find the book depressing at all. On the contrary, it was incredibly refreshing to know that lots of other adults are sometimes ambivalent and conflicted about some of the most important adults in their lives (I know I am). It made me want to write my own memoirs ... after my parents are dead, of course.

Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark by Alvin Schwartz

Remember the Banned Books list I referenced earlier? This book and the other books in this series are NUMBER ONE one the list of most banned/challenged books in the United States. Number. One. Banned more often than The Color Purple, or Sex by Madonna, or Heather Has Two Mommies (all of which are also on the list, naturally). I had heard of these books when I was a kid, but never read them myself. I do remember that they were very,very popular. Considering their placement on the list, I expected this book to be shocking, or at least inappropriate for young children.

I was wrong. The truth is, people are idiots.

So this book is indeed a collection of scary stories, but what you don't realize unless you actually READ the book is that the book is a collection of folk tales from around the world that Schwartz has collected in his years as a folklorist. Most of the stories are familiar from movies or TV shows or camping trips, and none of them are too mature for children. American folklore, is of course often known as Urban Legend, and some of the stories are about scary things like escaped convicts or supernatural things like ghosts, but the point remains the same: these are creepy stories that everyone knows of, but have never been traced to any real source. They are not out to harm anyone, and they are not too scary for kids. If you're old enough to want to read a book of scary stories, you are old enough to read it, and then deal with being a little scared. That's part of life. This book ought to have been titled "Intro to Folklore for Kids." I would wager that most kids find these stories to be harmless fun, not a gateway to a lifetime of witchcraft, or whatever it is parents are afraid of.

Also, the academic footnotes about the origins of the stories and how Schwartz researched them is totally fascinating.

Unauthorized X-Men by Len Wein, ed.

Yup, another collection of comic book essays. Shut up! I'm awesome!

This was an interesting book, and I was really excited to dig into it, because X-Men is one of my favorite franchises. I have always loved anything about misfits, for obvious reasons. Anyway, some of the essays in this were really great, but some of them were not as strong ... the connection of some essays' subjects to X-Men or its related issues felt like kind of a stretch. I still feel that Webslinger was a stronger collection overall. That said, I really enjoyed the articles about Jean Grey and feminism, as well as some of the articles about the science of mutation (although one of the Neofuturist pieces left a really bad taste in my mouth).

Becoming Jane Eyre by Sheila Kohler

I found this book also just through some un-organized library browsing. I checked it out because 1. Her last name is Kohler, which is similar to mine, and 2. Jane Eyre is one of my favorite novels, and perhaps the only 19th century novel I have actually enjoyed. I have started each of Jane Austen's books at some point in my life, but never finished any of them. Anyway, I wasn't sure if I was going to like this book or not, but I ended up liking it. Not loving it, but liking it.

The book was a little slow, but so was 19th century life, I suppose. Kohler follows the lives of the three Bronte sisters, who were all spinsters and writers and, as you all know, tough as hell. I don't know how exhaustive her research was, but the book felt pretty authentic. Also I really pity Charlotte's multiple encounters with unrequited love. Poor, plain, penniless babe. Like I said, it was slow as molasses, and the writing was just OK, so that's what the book was ... OK.

You can definitely read this if you want. I won't stop you.

Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Life by Bryan Lee O'Malley

AKA the most Irish author name in recent memory.

I think a lot of people have made the mistake of checking out Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World (which is vol. 2 in this series) at their local library because they assumed that the movie is based on that book rather than on the whole series. Incorrect! I do not know this from experience.

This is a great, fast read. The pictures are really fun, as well. I don't know what else to say about it except that it's just as good, if not better, than the movie, and the movie was pretty damn good. If you've ever lived in a basement apartment or dated someone you weren't that into, you will relate to this book. Also, if you've ever bought something you didn't need as an excuse to see a someone you had a crush on (for me, it was a floppy disk ... in 2005).

Finding Serenity: Anti-heroes, Lost Shepherds and Space Hookers in Joss Whedon's Firefly by Jane Espenson, ed.

Yeah, another fan book, mounting evidence of my incurable geekdom. Shut up. I like myself.

I loved this book enough to want to buy it. Which is a big deal because I don't often find a book I like enough to want to read multiple times. Once through is good enough for most. But not this book. The more I learn about how awesome this show was, the sadder I get that it was cancelled after one season.

One of the articles in this book taught me about what kind of marriage I want to have someday (Uh, hi, Wash and Zoe? Perfect marriage). Another taught me that strong woman are neither surprised nor threatened by their own sexuality (I love you Joss Whedon, you crazyfeministman). If you enjoy this show, this book will change your life. Bonus: CHINESE GLOSSARY IN THE BACK.

The Jane Austen Book Club by Karen Joy Fowler

So I mentioned earlier in this very blog entry that I don't like Jane Austen, but I REALLY REALLY WANT to like Jane Austen. I've tried reading her books and I just can't. Get. Into them. I don't know if it's some sort of chemical imbalance in my brain or what. But it makes me sad.

I really did love the movie that is based on this book, though. I was surprised to find out it was a book, and again surprised at how much I enjoyed it. A nice beach book, even though I read it in my bed.

The movie aligns with the plot of the book with these slightly disturbing exceptions: 1. in the book, everyone is ten years older than they were portrayed in the movie, 2. Prudie's affair with her student was completely fabricated for the film--in the book, she has a happy, albeit occasionally boring, marriage and finally 3. the ending of the movie was pretty much a "happily ever after" deal, but the book's ending was much more ambiguous. People got back together even when it maybe wasn't the best thing, some people had unsatisfying aspects of their life that never got resolved. I liked that, though. Life is messy. Things don't always get resolved. It felt very honest. Very ... not Jane Austen.

CRUSHEZ

Remember when I was like sorry guys, I post way too many videos, and I promise I'm going to start posting more things of value?

Forget that. How can I stop posting when such videos exist, videos of Joseph Gordon-Levitt looking so handsome and covering Lady Gaga AND Aretha Franklin?

I could never withhold such videos from the people I love.

Make my day.

I love film. I also love movies. I love both, but I have a hard time with film festivals. I love to see new, creative film projects that often deserve more accolades than they ever receive, but I hate having to navigate my way through all of the terrible pieces of filth that they show at film festivals. And it's not because I'm a prude, because if you know me you know I'm not. However, I have noticed that a lot of independent filmmakers seem to think that in order to stand out in such a competitive industry, they have to include gratuitous violence, maybe because gratuitous violence sticks in people's memories? I don't know if that's why they do it, but I do know that it bothers me.

At Bumbershoot on Monday, Cassie and I attended two short film festivals: one intended for families, the other featuring short film by local filmmakers that were intended for adults. At the latter event, the final of the four films was honestly one of the most disturbing short films I have ever seen, and I am pretty open when it comes to what films I will try (I don't avoid films because they have a certain rating, for example). I think maybe the violence was supposed to be funny (It featured an old man getting shot in the eye, a pregnant woman getting shot in the stomach, and three other people getting shot in equally gruesome places) but it made me sick to my stomach. I don't understand why someone would feel inspired to make a film like that. It didn't make any point about violence or crime, it didn't make me think, all it did was make me sad. Like The Jungle in short film form, although that was created with a purpose in mind, so perhaps that's a poor analogy.

I know I must sound very puritanical and uppity right now, but it's film like the one we saw that make me not want to go to film festivals. You just never know when you'll wind up watching violence that's pretty much pornographic--created with no purpose beyond hitting you in the stomach.

That being said, the family film festival had several really charming pieces of film that I am sharing with you now. One is embed-able (?) the other is not. But please watch both of them because they are well-done and deserve whatever attention my measly blog readership would garner them.

This one is really funny, reminds me of something Pixar would do.

Click here to watch the other, which is simple and adorable and just really great.

Did these films just make your day? I'll bet they did.

A Continuation of 2010 Books

The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier

Part of my "banned books" series. I am surprised that I had never heard of this book before, considering how famous and controversial it was in the 1970s (it was even made into a reportedly mediocre movie). This was a really great read, but I could also see why some parents would get their panties in a twist over their teenagers reading it. It's got violence, corruption, bullying, masturbation, loss of innocence, all that bad stuff you think your high school-aged children know nothing about, but actually do. The ending is a Cormac McCarthy level of downer. Highly recommended for misanthropic mood days.

Dreamland by Sarah Dessen

So I read The Truth About Forever by Sarah Dessen not too long ago, and thoroughly enjoyed it. This was before I learned that every Sarah Dessen book appears to be the same. Read one, and you've read them all. I kept getting distracted throughout this book (which is about a girl's addiction to drugs and her abusive boyfriend ... serious stuff) by deja vu. Upper-middle-class, gorgeous girl who is successful to the point of obsession? Check. Elusive sibling? Check. Dark, dangerous love interest? Overbearing, irritating suburban mom? Masculine, idealized father figure? Quirky, free-spirited best friend? All check. Seriously? Why bother to write another book? You know how annoying it is in movies like Orange County when someone gets touted as a great writer but really he's just fictionalized all the quirky folks in his life and not created anything original? Yeah. That. I think I have a pretty decent handle on Ms. Dessen's life.

The thing that really upset me about Dreamland is that the subject of domestic violence is really important to me and I want there to be lots of believable, empowering literature on the subject for women and teenage girls. But this one fell so short that it mostly just pissed me off. Also, how often do real people actually brush their hair out of their faces? According to Dessen everybody does it like every three seconds.

If I'm way off and her other books are really good and super original, please let me know.

Peter and Wendy (AKA Peter Pan) by J.M. Barrie

To balance out how disappointed I was by the previous book, this book was everything I hoped it would be and more. I deeply identify with confused, motherly Wendy. I was just like that as a little girl. I am still like her, actually. And I love how dark and dangerous and totally-not-for-kids the storyline is. It feels exactly like how I imagined the world as as child--dangerous in a way that no adults truly understood. Read this book.

Escape from "Special" by Miss Lasko-Gross

Speaking of suburban teenagers, this was much more likable than Dreamland. Melissa "Miss" Lasko-Gross wrote this autobiographical graphic novel (isn't it cool how those two words echo each other?) about growing up as a misunderstood kid that everyone perceived as "different." Of course, many of us different kids grow up to be writers. She also chronicles the loss of her faith and her relationship with her parents, who seem pretty cool. If you haven't read a non-fantastical graphic novel before, this would be a great introduction to the genre.

Eclipse by Stephanie Meyer

Yeah, yeah. I decided I wanted to read this after I saw the (hilarious) movie. Mostly because I wanted to see if the kissing-Jacob scene was any good. Why do I keep doing this to myself? Her writing makes me cringe in a way that only Ms. Meyer and Sarah Palin can (stay tuned for me review of Going Rogue ... I am clearly a glutton for punishment).

Little House in the Big Woods by Laura Ingalls Wilder

There are a couple of defining childhood books that I missed out on when I was actually a child. Since I am out of school and planning to be a teacher (of children) I figured now is as good a time as any to catch up on some of those aforementioned books. Also, NPR did an interesting podcast on Laura Ingalls Wilder a while back that piqued my interest.

This book was OK. I am definitely not going to read the nine or so other books in the series. I can see why they would have appealed to me as a kid, reading about the mundane happenings in the life of a happy little girl. She lives in the woods and churns her own butter and loves her parents. Anytime you think anything exciting is going to happen (a bear in the front yard!) nothing ever does. Everybody just ends up safe and snug in their little house eating maple syrup. Again, I can see how that would have been sort of comforting to a young child (I think a second grader could easily plow through one of these books in a week or so) but at this point in my life I don't find it very enthralling.

V for Vendetta by Alan Moore & David Lloyd et al.

This and books like it are probably the reason why I didn't find Little House in the Big Woods very exciting. I am having a moral crisis trying to figure out if I like this book better than Watchmen, which is also a work of staggering genius, and now I think I love them both equally but for different reasons, as if they were my children. V for Vendetta gets into your head a little more, I think. But it's just as fascinating and surprising and character-driven as Watchmen and holy cow, I loved this book. I doubt I will see the movie, though. Especially after Watchmen broke my heart like it did. The fifteen minutes of awesome didn't make up for all that other stuff they did.

Stuart Little by E.B. White

I can't believe I never got around to reading this, especially since Charlotte's Web is one of my favorite books of all time (animals! vegetarians! baby spiders!). It was a nice little read. I liked how they put this very absurd character (an anthropomorphic mouse born to human parents) into this very idealized version of New York City and no one ever reacts like anything weird is going on. It's like Magic Realism for Kiddies. One of my favorite scenes is his failed date with an inexplicably tiny girl. How many of us have ruined a potentially perfect relationship because we were being narrow jerks? You so have, too.

Oddly, I felt like the end of the book was setting it up for a sequel, but there isn't one, is there?

Webslinger: Unauthorized Essays on Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-man by Gerry Conway (ed.)

This is proof positive that I am a huge nerd. Particularly the fact that after a while, I wasn't even embarrassed to be seen reading this book in public. Also, because this book is really, really fascinating. It consists of essays written by a bunch of gifted pop culture writers about various topics as they relate to spider-man: psychology, religion, philosophy, various literary themes. It's a veritable feast of comic-book-obsession-hood. If you like that sort of thing, read it.

Matched by Ally Condie

Thank you thank you thank you Kayla for this book! It arrived in the mail only a few days ago and it was one of the most exciting packages I have gotten in a long time. Kayla and I were talking one day about how we like getting mail, and how we both like books, and she was like, "Hey! Why don't I send you a book in the mail! Then you can send a different one back to me! It will be fun!"

It totally is fun. Not only is this an advance copy of a book by an author I have never heard of (she lives in Salt Lake City so she may or may not be Mormon? she makes no mention of it in this book either way) but it was a really fun, pleasurable YA read. I read it in one day while I was doing front desk reception at a really slow office (today, actually). Matched is a dystopian romance along the same lines as The Hunger Games (which I love), but even though the plot is a little tread, Condie is a good enough writer that I was totally engrossed. It's not predictable, either. I was genuinely concerned about the characters and how/if things were going to work out. I'm not positive if Condie is planning on a sequel, but I hope she is. If she is Mormon, the book turns into a very interesting commentary on our ideas of destiny vs. agency. But either way, it's a great book.

The Seven Deadly Sins, Day 7: Lust

How badly do I want this shirt? Answer: a lot.

I saved the deadly sin of lust for last, mostly because I have no idea what to write about it. I've gone the celebrity route much too recently, so that's out. And I could, ostensibly, write about someone I have a crush on, but unfortunately that's no one at the moment. Which, in some ways, is even more depressing than unrequited love. I dunno, maybe it's sort of a tie.

Also, I spend a lot of time on this blog complaining about my love life. What more could you possibly need to know?

Except this:

If I can find a dude who can enjoy this book un-ironically, I don't care if he has no arms or legs, I will marry him.

The Seven Deadly Sins, Day 6: Envy

“Envy consists in seeing things never in themselves, but only in their relations. If you desire glory, you may envy Napoleon, but Napoleon envied Caesar, Caesar envied Alexander, and Alexander, I daresay, envied Hercules, who never existed.”

Bertrand Russell

I was going to post a bunch of pictures of women I am jealous of, but my attention span is already waning really dramatically, so I am just going to say: Mr. Russell is right. Envying others is pretty silly, because the grass is always greener on the other side of history, etc. If we could all read minds, no one would be envious of anyone else, because all your pain and low self-esteem and horrible memories and cellulite would be obvious to everyone else, instead of just you.

I do legitimately envy people with kids even though I am fully aware that parenting is really really hard. But, what are you gonna do.

It has seriously tapped all my remaining energy to write as much as I have. I would just like to say that sometimes I get sad that I don't look like her:

Then I get over it. But it's always painful.