From the archives: November 21, 2004

Tonight I watched Sleeping Beauty all the way through for the first time

After the evil witch Mafeficant (sp?) gets killed.

Me: Man, none of this would have happened if they had just invited her to the party. So the message of this movie is: invite everybody to the party.

From the archives: October 11, 2004

Actual conversation with my roommates

Important detail: I gave blood today.

Scene: Elisa and Hediyeh, having returned from grocery shopping, are putting said groceries away and talking to Nancy and Alli.

Hediyeh: Hey, Elisa has a crazy story to tell you guys.
Me: I passed out in Brother Bott's class.
Hediyeh: NO! The other crazy story!
Me: (mystified) What?
Hediyeh: About how your friend got engaged after knowing the guy for 13 days.
Me: Oh. Uh, my friend got exchanged after knowing the guy for 13 days.
Alli: Wow.

Dude, I am so in love with Provo it's not even funny.

My best friend

had an elaborate plan when we were in high school on how she was going to meet her future husband. Her plan was to attend art school in Florida, get hired as a Disney animator to work on some sort of cartoon about outer space, and, while sketching at NASA headquarters, meet her husband, who of course would be an astronaut.

Things ended up going slightly differently, but of course she still got her happily ever after.

I, on the other hand, am free to fantasize about these handsome blokes:

These are some NASA astronauts from the 1960s. Seven originals members of the Mercury missions, pictured here during survival training in the Nevada desert. The gentleman front and center is my favorite. Possibly because I have a thing for noses?

Image courtesy of here.

Sometimes I feel sad I wasn't an adult in the 1960s. Then I remember the pilot of Mad Men and I'm like, oh yeah.

From the archives: September 2, 2004

Humorous quotes from my professors! *cymbal crash*

"English spelling is ... disgusting."
Professor Skousen

"'Whom did you see at the dance?' Now you could say this, maybe to one of your rommates. But you would be branded as some sort of weird ... English Major or something."
Professor Skousen

"I don't know what it is with Mormons and food. Have any of you ever been to a church activity, not including the three-hour block on Sunday, wherein there was no food available? Anybody? [no one in the class of 250 raises their hand]. See? Also, I've noticed that we tend to substitute ice cream for alcohol. You know, normal people, if they want to go out casually with someone of the opposite sex, they go out for drinks. But Mormons, they hit up Baskin and Robbins for a quick ice cream, and if they don't like each other, they just take off."
Professor Campbell

"I am proud to say that I missed my grandfather's funeral to attend class out of fear of missing school. Grandpa was proud too, I suspect, since he taught school in Canada, back when going to school was an honor."
Professor Sorenson

"Welcome to English 325. English grammar. How thrilling."
Professor Skousen

"I did not choose to major in Philosophy, nay, but rather I realized that I had been a philosopher all along and just did not realize it. This is not a career path that one would consciously choose. If I could, I'd be really good at ... business. Or something."
Professor Foster

"The death penalty, you have to admit, caters to this Old Testament sense of justice that we use only when it suits our purposes. Really, I don't see any point in killing more people after the fact, especially since we let them live twenty years before we do it anyway."
Professor Sorenson

"Thank you so much for coming to this department meeting! Please help yourself to the refreshments available out in the open-air atrium ... and by that I mean the sidewalk."
The Department Head (I didn't catch his name, or else I just forgot it)

The kind of woman I want to be is:

"The woman of the future, who is really being born today, will be a woman completely free of guilt for creating and for self-development. She will be a woman in harmony with her own strength, not necessarily called masculine or eccentric or something unnatural. I imagine she will be very tranquil about her strength and her serenity, a woman who will know how to talk to children and to the men who sometimes fear her... The woman of the future will never try to live vicariously through the man, and urge and push him to despair, to fulfill something that she should really be doing herself. So that is my first image -- she is not aggressive, she is serene, she is sure, she is confident, she is able to develop her skills, she is able to ask for space for herself."

Anais Nin, 1976, quoted in this article.

Also this:

Cake - Short Skirt/Long Jacket (Official Music Video). Watch more top selected videos about: Cakes

From the archives: July 13, 2003

The book of Elisa, chapter 7, verses 1 - 10

In the beginning Elisa was sleeping. And lo, her mother did call up the stairs, saying "Hark, lazybones, church doth start in half an hour. Thou must getteth out of bed and get dressed." And it came to pass that Elisa did so, and her hair remained unwashed, and her skirt was very wrinkled. And behold, the lesson at church was on marriage, and it was the third lesson on marriage this month. And Elisa bethought herself that perhaps the overriding theme of life was being revealed unto her. And the woman next to Elisa saith, "Behold, my son is a law student at Gonzaga, and his prospects are exceedingly fine, and his face is glorious to look upon, and he is like unto Abraham in his righteousness, and wouldst thou like to meet him?" And Elisa said "Nay, nay, for he is exceedingy old, and I am not in the market for a husband, but thank you." And the woman waxed wroth, and walked away, and her countenance was like that of a sad person. And Elisa kept these things, and pondered them in her heart, and thought to herself the reason why everyone wished her married so quickly, and she could find none. And Elisa went in unto her friends, and they had gone watersikiing the previous day, and their bodies were adorned with the pinkness of the sun. And Juliana was exceedingly sorrowful, for her senior pictures were in two days, and her face was like unto a tomato. And Elisa had not gone with them, because she had been toiling and serving food to the Jews, and she mourned. Then Carlos went with Elisa into the third meeting of church, which is called Sacrament Meeting. And Carlos said "Yea, I have to go to the bathroom." And Elisa saith unto him, "Fine." And he did return to her exceedingly wet, for he had wiped his wet hands on his shirt, and Elisa did roll her eyes. And one hour later Elisa drove home, and ate some nachos, and she did wonder why Cori didst not call her, that they might go for a walk, and partake in other such goodness. And Elisa retired, and napped, and thus ended the day of Elisa thus far.

*Howls*

This is what 4:30 AM looks like.

Happy Easter!

I gave up treats (cookies, cake, candy, etc) for Lent. I didn't blog about it at the start, because I wasn't sure how it would go.

Fact: it was successful. I kept to my goal the entire 40 days except for two exceptions:

1. At the Seattle Bike Expo my friend handed me a Smartie from the candy basket at one of the booths. I popped it into my mouth and then realized what I had done. After I spit it into my hand, he ate it.

2. I also took a Swedish fish out of another friend's mouth at a dance party.

So apparently, I am really good at avoiding eating sugar as long as it doesn't involve someone else's mouth. Heyo.

Greetings from the Phoenix airport!

I woke up this morning at 5 AM with this song stuck in my head.

Your explanation is as good as mine.

Results are in!

Good news, guys. Nobody who reads my blogs wants more drugs. This is a good thing, because I don't know how I would satisfy them. Maybe write about the one time I was on morphine? I took valium once too. After an oral surgery. CRAZY.

However, 60% of the 10 people polled said they would like to see some drugs in conjunction with sex and rock and roll. They may or may not be in for some disappointment.

I think I am going to put some other widget in place of these polls.

Things that made me cry today.

1. A radio ad about breast cancer.

2. The end of The Land Before Time.

Handwriting Activity

From Kayla, who clearly, I can't get enough of. The questions:

1. what's your name and blogger name?

2. what's your blog's URL?

3. Write, "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog."

4. Favorite quote?

5. Favorite song?

6. Favorite band/singers?

7. Anything else you want to say?

I was in the mood for some origami today. (Click to enlarge!)

Proof that I'm a woman of my word.

Frenemies?

This video might be funny only to me. There's not a ton of payoff.

I love how Mandu the Dog looks at me like, "Why are you doing nothing to stop this?"

Note to Facebook readers: you have to click through to see it. Duh.

Fact.

This is why God invented maxi dresses.

Why yesterday was the best day for birds.

1. It was not rainy or frosty.

2. I saw a whole avocado lying in the street. Picked clean.

Thursday Five.

Note: This came up when I did a google image search for "side of despair." I was so sad, my face fell off! Also, is there really a recording artist our there named "Mister Flu"? Inquiring minds will check it out later.

Here is your Thursday Five.

It ain't alliterative, but it's what I got.

1. When it rains job offers, it pours them like burning melted butter onto the skin of my wrist when I was just trying to make some rice krispys treats.

2. Tukwila is the ugliest, worst city in the world. I hate riding the bus there, and I resent how long it takes to ride the bus back.

3. I had my spine x-rayed last week and it turns out all the vertebrae in my back are grotesquely twisted to the right. My theory is that this is because I am blind in my left eye and thus turn to the right much more often than to the left. I also sleep on my right side.

4. Yesterday my goal was to make and eat an entire pan of rice krispys* treats. I ate one third, with a side of despair. It passed (the despair).

5. There is a new poll. Unlike my last one, this one is possibly interesting to people who are not me. Also, I have lots of new clothes. Do with that information what you will.

*Am I spelling that right?

Why Some People Think I am Eccentric

Because if enough people think something, it has to be true. Especially if it's on the Internet. Duh. Evidence annotated below.

Happy Solstice! The universe has conspired against me and made me menstrual and ill in conjunction with the full moon. I couldn't fall asleep last night and then woke up at 4 AM with back pain so severe it made me throw up, which was less than fun. Then I couldn't fall back (get it?) asleep. I went outside in my underwear and a fur coat (1) to see if the eclipse was still visible, but of course by then it was over, and anyway it was far too cloudy to see anything. When my alarm went off at 6 AM I hadn't slept at all and I was so disappointed I almost started crying (2).

The only good thing about last night is that Sego spooned with me and he is the best huge furry hot water bottle in the whole wide world.

Even when I was starting to feel sick yesterday afternoon, when my boss called while I was watching Fire in the Sky (3) I foolishly agreed to take a work assignment for tomorrow/today. I could really use the money. So far I don't really regret it because even though I am tired and in a lot of pain, it's better to be in pain and distracted by work than in pain at home with nothing to do. Although I still have some craft projects to finish for some Christmas gifts. In some ways, crafting is more of a chore for me than regular chores (4).

I also have 17 more books in the queue that I need to finish writing about before the end of the year. When did this become an actual goal instead of just something to do because I was no longer in school? I don't know. (5)

There is this boy at church whom I find fascinating for a number of reasons, but the biggest one is that he seems really, really content. As in, comfortable in his own skin, happy with the way his life is right now. I am jealous and also curious as to what he knows that I don't.

Lastly, when I was cleaning out some boxes of high school memorabilia I found--wait for it--an autographed poster from the band Jericho Road. I never liked or listened to their music, but all you need to know about them is that they were a Mormon Boy Band and that they were ridiculous. One time I was at the Deseret Book in Bellevue buying some scripture markers on my way home from the temple, and those guys were just there, all alone. They struck up a conversation and invited me to their show, but I was busy. They gave me an autograph anyway. Bless their hearts.

Any chance that would be worth money? Doubtful, I suppose. Might put it on the eBay anyway. (6) You never know.

Wait a minute.

Here you go.

My dog hates me.

So today Judith and I were perusing Target and I insisted we check out the cheap Halloween candy. I was then immediately sideswiped by the Halloween decor/costume aisle which proclaimed:

90 PERCENT OFF. Hells yeah.

These FOUR dog costumes cost me a grand total of 4.16

Bumblebee. This one is my favorite I think.

White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland. A little big, needs some minor alterations.

Headless horseman from the Ichabod Crane stories (you can't really see,

but that's a headless dude with a pumpkin head riding him)

Hot dog. Get it?

He may or may not have spent the rest of the evening hiding from me.

Fun times, girly times

As always, Kayla is my inspiration. I'm totally doing this.

You can too, if you wish.

WOOOOO CLOTHING

Being clothed is better than being naked in many situations.

If only I had this shirt.