Not Being Naked: day 20

I have a crying headache right now. Did someone die? Did my heart get broken? Is there trouble at home or abroad?

Nope. I just saw Despicable Me. Any movie about kids = TEARS. Shout out to Aimee, who wept with me. This picture was taken in a hurry.

white t-shirt + black fake leather jacket + short blue dress + black leggings + chacos = the reason my feet are not visible is because that black streak at my feet is Sego. He was running past me, most likely after a ball.

Not Being Naked: day 19

This outfit makes me look like an hourglass. Granted, that is also how I look naked, so maybe what I mean is this outfit makes me look like how I actually look?

fake snakeskin shoes + denim skirt + neon green shirt + grey jacket (gift from my mom) + calculator watch + blue beaded bracelet (Christmas gift from Carlos) = my mom advised me against the jacket even though she bought it for me, because she says it makes my shoulders look big. What do you think? I mean my shoulders are big, no denying that. The question is, does it make me look like a linebacker? Slash, is that bad?

Big hips + big shoulders = hot or not?

See, this is why I don't care a lot of the time.

Not Being Naked: days 17 and 18

Are you proud of me for wearing clothes two days in a row? Well, you should be.

This very poorly photographed outfit is fake snakeskin shoes + grey pencil skirt + blue v-neck t-shirt + black and gold scarf (thrifted) + pink drop earrings (Claire's, I think? When I was in high school?) = when I picked up Kaylene to go to Chandler, Aaron and Colin's house, she said, "Wait! Were we supposed to look pretty?" Then I had to explain to her that I don't wear pants.

The earrings.

The jacket I wore over it (Target) because it was a little cold yesterday.

Today I wore black hooker boots + grey pencil skirt + purple checkered shirt + long blue sweater + red lego earrings (purchased at BrickCon with my little brother) = everybody loves lego earrings. It's true!!

*arms thrown up in Kelso-esque triumph* AM I RIGHT????

Not Being Naked: day 16

Some days you try really hard to create an interesting new outfit (that is also warm) but you end up looking like Little Bo Peep.

brown skirt + brown peasant blouse + white leggings + black hooker boots + other orange sweater + calculator watch + wooden earrings (designed by my aunt who is an industrial designer in Sweden) = sheeptacular?

Also, the blood washed out quite nicely, thanks for asking.

These are the earrings. I love them. If my aunt had an etsy shop or some sort I would link to it, but she does not.
The Little Bo Peep thing was so funny at 6 in the morning that I decided to just go with it.

I also wore my (fake) SHEEPskin jacket!! Get it? Also, my scarf is the color of sheep's wool. The jacket is from the Target, I think (a really long time ago) and the scarf was knitted for me by the teenage friend of my host family in Japan. She heard I was coming and was like, I will knit her a scarf! It was really sweet but kinda overwhelming because I didn't know she was going to knit me a freaking scarf otherwise I would have made her something too. I didn't even know who she was until we went to visit her. I didn't really understand what was going on until she handed me the scarf and I was like oh how nice and then tried to hand it back to her and she was like no no it's for you. A complete stranger!! A whole scarf!! She was also really shy and kinda jumpy. I awkwardly plied with with the small gifts I had brought from Seattle but it was just overall really awkward and I felt terrible for breaking the elaborate rules of Japanese gift etiquette without meaning to. And that's the story of how I got this scarf.

Also, that same day I was talking to this girl and her family and I mixed up the Japanese word for bird with the word for monkey because they are kind of similar and my Japanese wasn't very good. And that's the story of how I told some very nice Japanese strangers that monkeys ate all the cherries off the cherry tree in my backyard and they definitely thought I was crazy and probably wished they could take back the scarf.

NOTE FIVE MINUTES LATER: Upon further reflection, the Japanese words for bird* and monkey** are not at all similar. In my defense, jet lag is a bitch.

*tori

**saru

Not Being Naked: day 15

I put on clothes today, guys!! A dress, even.

black t-shirt + black leggings + short red dress + no shoes = 10/10 for comfort and bliss

Things I am Thankful for:

1. My badass family

2. My beautiful friends

3. Good music

4. Star Wars

5. Tofurkey

6. Jim Henson

7. Sego

8. Podcasts

9. Texting

10. Hot water

11. Cuddling

12. Jesus

13. Snow days

14. Being barefoot

15. Scrabble

16. Books

17. Missions

18. Persimmons

19. Lists

20. Everything

Being in Pajamas: day 2

I am so sorry about this. I didn't get dressed today, either.

Excuses:

1. There is too much snow to drive anywhere (remember, we live on a hill).
2. Vacation is all about doing things you would not have time to do otherwise.

This is what passes for "things to do"

(sitting on couches, eating, watching movies, dog snuggling)

This is what passes for "getting dressed"

This is what passes for "hair"

Happy Ante-Thanksgiving, everybody!

Not Being Naked: day 14 and Being in Pajamas: Day 1

When going to your second grad school interview, it is crucial to DRESS FOR SUCCESS. Unfortunately, when SNOWPOCALYPSE 2010 hits Seattle the same day your interview is scheduled, that makes dressing for success exceedingly difficult.

The original plan was to wear other white blouse + other grey pencil skirt + black hooker boots + opal earrings (won by my mom at a casino) = 10/10 for sexy and professional (sexessional?). But that would simply not be warm enough. So I added my black leggings and this blue sweater (thrifted) which isn't in the mix, but is the warmest sweater I own.

I also added a hat (forever 21) + gloves (came with a cardigan I bought at like JC Penney or something) + and my black fake leather jacket + wool socks (Costco).

I was still not that warm, but it was better than the original plan, which would have resulted in an Elisa popsicle (Elisicle?). Also, driving on 1-5 at 20 MPH is creepy, but I lived.

And finally, today should have been day 15 but I spent the entire day in my pajamas, hanging out with this guy:

Why is the ground all weird? I fear change.

And rereading the email I received congratulating me on being admitted to UW's Masters in Teaching program. Yay!!!

Not Being Naked: days 11, 12, 13 (sorry)

This has not been my week. Sorry about the delay, here are some pictures/excuses.

On Friday, I wore brown skirt + brown peasant blouse + long white sweater + red superhero boots. It looked OK, but I got blood* all over it. Then I had to change into non-approved clothes because all my laundry was in the dryer. Like I said, not my week.

On Saturday, I wore this:

It is neon green shirt + denim skirt + long blue sweater + fake snakeskin shoes (I had been home for a while when this picture was taken and forgot to put them on) + opal necklace (gift from my aunts when I was like 8, which I love because it hits my collarbone really sexylike) = 9/10 (-1 because why am I standing like that? It does not look cool)

On Sunday, I wore this:

I wore it with other orange sweater + red superhero boots + opal necklace, but I spilled water on the sweater (WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?). I also wore my mission coat, which always gets made fun of, but if you've been following me up to this point you know I don't care/enjoy it.

I am almost caught up! Now I need to post a photo of the clothes I wore today lying on the floor because I am once again in my pajamas, watching The Tick.

*From my nose.

Not Being Naked: day 10 (the practical edition)

Sometimes you have to dress for a certain occasion. Like baby-sitting, for example. You want clothes that are washable, comfortable and preferably darker in color, just in case. Also, if you are baby-sitting in a cavernous McMansion that gets really cold, you want to be warm.

Dressed for battle.

grey and white dress + blue v-neck t-shirt + long blue sweater + chacos (oh, how I love them!) + indestructible calculator watch = 7/10 in terms of style, but 10/10 for the reasons listed above.

No jewelry. Especially not earrings? Are you kidding me? Have you ever had an earring ripped out of your ear? Fact: it hurts.

Not Being Naked: day 9

Fact: I did not get dressed until 4 in the afternoon today, because earlier I was dressed in my scrubs and doing manual labor in Bellevue, AKA the worst city in the whole wide Washington.

There is, I wish to make clear, nothing wrong with good, honest manual labor. Among other things, it means I did not have to go to the gym today.

My supervisor: Wow! You are INCREDIBLE!

Me (internal monologue): Incredible at moving boxes?

Me (out loud): Thanks!

Anyway, I got dressed to go to Costco and buy a couple of things, and then received no appreciation for doing so because I forgot apparently the ONLY THING that was REALLY important for me to buy (a chicken) and now my dad is pouting like a six year-old girl.

But anyway, clothes!

fake snakeskin shoes + denim skirt + white t-shirt + other orange sweater + red necklace (was my mom's) + purple hair clip (gift from Kelso) = 10/10

The 100% score was scientifically garnered because while I was in line at Costco, an autistic eleven year-old patted my butt, then reached around and tried to hold my hand. His mom was horrified, but I thought it was hilarious.

Not Being Naked: day 8 WORST DAY EVER

Can you believe that a day could go so horribly wrong even in an outfit like this?

other grey pencil skirt + orange sweater + black hooker boots + white blouse = 8/10 (-1 for the wrinkled skirt, -1 for not fixing all my problems)

Outwear in lieu of accessories = khaki coat (thrifted) + blue scarf (gift from DHB)

I guess the cool thing is I cannot imagine Day 9 being any worse, eh?

Not Being Naked: day 7 (The "I really need to do laundry" edition)

I really need to do laundry. That is why today I was forced to wear a dress as a shirt.

short red dress + grey pencil skirt + long white sweater + black hooker boots + grey bead necklace (thrifted) = 8/10 (-1 because I couldn't take the sweater off, -1 for the necklace having a bunch of loose threads that look kinda tacky ... but I just can't throw it away ...)

I am going to do some laundry right now, actually.

2010 Books Galore

The Man from Krypton: A Closer Look at Superman by Glenn Yeffeth, ed.

I promise this is the last comic book-related anthology I will review for a while. Maybe. We'll see. You never know.

This was another one of the Smart Pop anthologies that I read over the summer, and this was one of the better ones. Superman has been around long enough that there is plenty to say about him. I would say this one is just as good as Webslinger.

Positive Discipline: the First Three Years by Jane Nelson

I started reading this at my employer's house when I was a nanny and liked it so much I wanted to finish it. In fact, I decided I wanted to read all the books in the Positive Discipline series. It's a really great philosophy for dealing with kids.

The main premise is that kids behave well when they feel good about themselves and their abilities, and parenting's goal should be to empower kids to learn through doing rather than be motivated by rewards and/or punishments. I saw a lot of truth in what they were saying. But all bets are off until I am co-raising a child that is not also my sibling.

Replay by Sharon Creech

I found this book at the library kind of by accident. I really liked Walk Two Moons, also by Creech, so I thought I would give it a shot. It's a really nice little book about a young Hispanic boy who feels like he doesn't fit into his family because he's very introspective and imaginative (his family nicknames him "fog boy"). Really short, nice read. Might have choked me up at the end. But what else is new.

The Story of Edgar Sawtelle by David Wroblewski

Oh man. If you read only one reworking of Shakespeare set in rural Wisconsin, make it this one.

Kidding aside, this was an amazing book. Earned all the praise it garnered when it first came out. I could see it becoming a classic. The book is a retelling of Hamlet, told from the point of view of Edgar, a mute teenager who raises dogs with his parents. Even though I've read Hamlet so I had an idea of how things are going to end (re: not good) this book was incredibly gripping. The author is able to make everyone's point of view come alive--even the dogs' point of view, which I think is a rare gift.

Of all the books I am posting about today, if you plan to read one of them, read this one.

The Birthday Ball by Lois Lowry

Another fun, easy YA read. Fact: Lois Lowry can do no wrong. Also fact: this is one of those books I would like to read to my class someday (probably fourth grade and up). It's a reworked fairy tale with a pretty traditional-sounding premise, but still turns out to be really fun. I was genuinely curious as to how things were going to work out, which is a good sign.

P.S. Blogger's paragraph spacing rules are SO IRRITATING

Not Being Naked: days 4, 5 and 6

I had a busy weekend. But don't worry, here are some pictures of me wearing clothes. 'Cause I know how much these posts enthrall you guys.

brown polka dot dress + other orange sweater + red superhero boots + gold disc earrings (thrifted) = 10/10* (per Allen, the only straight guy I know besides DHB who has opinions about clothes). This is the outfit I wore to my birthday party.

*To be fair, he didn't submit an actual rating. But he did send me a text message with a dirty joke about my breasts, so that is pretty much the same thing.

This what my earrings look like. I always get lots of compliments on them, however they are made of very cheap metal that hurts my ears so I can never wear them for an entire day.

Also, I L.O.V.E. polka dots. When I was a nanny D used to call them "polka bots." Doesn't that sound terrifying? WATCH OUT FOR THE POLKA BOTS!!!!!

This is a real song WTF. Also, it sucks.

Anyway, the morning after eating lots of unhealthy food I went to Sunstone. It was awesome.

White t-shirt + other grey pencil skirt + calculator watch + black hooker boots + grey bracelet (was my mom's in the sixties) = meh. Maybe 5/10?

I felt okay about this outfit while I was wearing it but it didn't photograph very well, did it? Also, I had a Kendi-esque existential crisis about whether or not to tuck in my shirt. The fried food kinda made that decision for me, though. That being said, I really love this skirt. Sunstone lasted from 8:30 in the morning to like 10:00 at night and I was totally comfortable.

Yes, comfort is my raison de mettre. I am a boy.

This next outfit will be shown on the floor instead of on my body because I am already in my pajamas and I simply do not want to get dressed again. Are you kidding me?

blue v-neck t-shirt (cute, but a little cleavage-y) + black and gold scarf (thrifted, see previous) + grey pencil skirt + fake snakeskin shoes = 10/10 mostly because someone at Stake Conference today asked if my shoes were from Banana Republic and I was like SWEET

This outfit looks even better on my body than it does on the floor. Feel free to leave any clever pick-up lines in the comments.

xoxoxoxoxo

ek

Wait a minute.

Here you go.

Not Being Naked: day 4 (actual)

Fact: TAKING MIRROR PICTURES IS THE WORST

See why I usually cut out my face?

I really enjoyed today's outfit but it was pretty much IMPOSSIBLE to get a photo of it.

Especially because I wanted to include the earrings.

Full body shots are pretty much impossible.

Anyway, today was black t-shirt + short blue dress + black slip (that's not cheating, is it?) + fake snakeskin shoes + calculator watch (wal-mart) + turquoise earrings (gift from my godfather) = infinity/ten

1. Mostly I am just proud of myself for not spending the day in my pajamas.

You can see the shoes here. I wore the fake leather jacket as well but not when I was inside so it doesn't really count as part of the "outfit." Also, another disastrous mirror picture. Hello, stump legs + looking pregnant. Eyuck.

Not Being Naked: day 3

This is actually for yesterday (Wednesday) because I just got home.

My ability to take mirror photos is improving, yes?

Denim skirt + neon green shirt + long blue sweater + Joseph and Mary necklace (it was my mom's) + neon green ring (gift from Carlos, possibly from a cereal box) + black hooker boots = 9/10

(-1 because you could see down my shirt)

1. Today's outfit needed to be versatile because I was going both to work and a show* at a tavern. Also, it really needed to be comfortable. It totally was.

2. I probably should have worn a warmer sweater.

3. Some people make fun of this shirt, but I like it.

*Pacific Nomadic. They are a good band. You should check them out if you like indie music and stuff. My friend drums for them and he is a good drummer.

Not Being Naked: day 2

I don't know how to take good mirror pictures.

Grey and white dress + black fake leather jacket + black hooker boots + turquoise bracelet (thrifted) = 8/10 (-1 for the wrinkled dress, -1 for being unable to take the jacket off without undershirt hanging out--not classy)

1. I love this dress. It is so comfortable.

2. This jacket is also much loved by me.

3. I like these boots although they have no traction and/or may be trying to kill me in a wet parking lot.

Not Being Naked: day 1

Like Kayla, my face was too awkward to be published.

purple checkered shirt + grey pencil skirt + black vest-type thing + black sandals + blue square necklace (gift from Jean-Baptiste--purchased in Paris, probably by his mom) = 6/10

1. I really like this shirt, because it is a button down shirt that actually buttons without being too tight in the chest AND without fitting like a dress overall. This is rare.

2. I also really like this skirt although it doesn't seem to photograph very well.

3. Trying to figure out whether or not I should keep the vest. Thoughts?

4. I love those shoes although they are starting to become impractical, weather-wise. They were seven dollars at Papaya on "clearance" when I bought them and I liked them so much I vowed to go back and buy up all their other pairs. However, when I went back they had been jacked back up to twelve. Jerks. Pros of these shoes: wearing them feels like being barefoot. Cons: wearing them feels like being barefoot. I remembered this while taking Sego into the backyard through the muddy, leaf-strewn grass. Gross.

My dog hates me.

So today Judith and I were perusing Target and I insisted we check out the cheap Halloween candy. I was then immediately sideswiped by the Halloween decor/costume aisle which proclaimed:

90 PERCENT OFF. Hells yeah.

These FOUR dog costumes cost me a grand total of 4.16

Bumblebee. This one is my favorite I think.

White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland. A little big, needs some minor alterations.

Headless horseman from the Ichabod Crane stories (you can't really see,

but that's a headless dude with a pumpkin head riding him)

Hot dog. Get it?

He may or may not have spent the rest of the evening hiding from me.

Not Being Naked: prologue

Mission:

Straight from Miss Kendi's mouth.

"take 30 items from my closet (shoes included) and mix them into 30 different outfits over about a month period...Shoes are included in the count, coats and accessories (i.e. tights, jewelry, hats, gloves, and so on) are not...[Also] no shopping for 30 days."

This is one of those projects that has the potential to alienate my male readership, because not all males care about clothes. That's why I put the word "naked" in the title. Just trying to keep things interesting for everyone.

Plus, it's my blog! I do what I want!

The materials:

I can't always remember where my clothes came from, but I'll try. Also, most bloggers are posting photos of their items, but I figure that would ruin the surprise. Slash, I'm lazy.

Note: when writing about clothes, consistent capitalization is 4 losers

Tops:

Black t-shirt (Costco)

White t-shirt (Wal-mart)

Neon green t-shirt (Macys?)

blue v-neck t-shirt (urban outfitters)

Brown peasant blouse (boutique in Paris)*

purple checkered shirt (thrifted)

White blouse (gift from Mom)

Other white blouse (Nordstrom?)**

total = 8

*See? I am actually classy. This cancels out the Costco and Wal-mart.

**So I like white blouses. So what?

Sweaters:

long blue sweater (Forever 21)

long white sweater (JC Penney?)

orange sweater (thrifted)

other orange sweater (some shop in Hungary)*

total = 4

*also got a thing for orange sweaters.

Skirts:

Grey pencil skirt (target)

Other grey pencil skirt (thrifted)*

denim skirt (gift from Mom)

other denim skirt (thrifted)*

brown skirt (target)

total = 5

*So I like grey pencil/denim skirts. So what?

Dresses:

brown polka dot dress (BYU bookstore ... I know)

short blue dress (urban outfitters)

short red dress (thrifted)

grey and white dress (thrifted)

total = 4

Pants:

total = 0

I don't wear any pants. No, seriously. I don't.

Leggings:

black (forever 21)

white (target?)

total = 2

Misc.

black vest-type thing (urban outfitters?)

total = 1

Jackets:

black fake leather jacket (Target)

total = 1

Shoes:

grey fake snakeskin shoes (thrifted)

chacos (online)*

black sandals (papaya)

total = 3

*theses are not exactly fashion-friendly, but I love them and cannot live a whole month without them.

Boots:

black hooker boots (thrifted)

red superhero boots (thrifted)

total = 2

Let's get this "wearing clothes every day" thing STARTED

(The project starts tomorrow)

xoxoxoxox

ek

Fun times, girly times

As always, Kayla is my inspiration. I'm totally doing this.

You can too, if you wish.

WOOOOO CLOTHING

Being clothed is better than being naked in many situations.

If only I had this shirt.

Brought to you by the letter B.

I have some of the coolest friends the world has ever known. But first, inside jokes!

Those of you who have been perusing my Facebook profile of late may have noticed the scads of boob jokes that have been taking over my page in the past few days. I mean, more than usual. Here is why. The letter B is heavily, inextricably involved.

It all started with blackberries. Not the cellular device, but these:

Attractive photo of my hand brought to you by Greg.

Over the summer, Greg and Wills drove up from the Utah to visit. While they were in town, we spent an afternoon picking blackberries and making jars and jars of delicious jam that I am still working my way through.

While we picked berries and got attacked by stinging nettles, we talked about everything. This was not long after I had discovered that I had been wearing the wrong bra size my entire life. Greg and Wills are those rare, awesome kind of guys that they don't get weirded out by anything I say, so I told them the story and how much better my back felt/hotter I looked when I wore a bra that fit me properly. I even showed them the photographic evidence (clothed). I also complained about how expensive odd-sized bras are, and how I probably won't be able to afford to re-stock my lingerie drawer for a while.

Fast forward to last Saturday. My birthday. I received a package from Provo, and what do you think was inside??

TWO gorgeous, perfectly-fitting bras!! My Provo family (Wills, Greg, Justin, Chandler, Colin, Lance, Austin, Sarah, Colleen, Vilja, Ashley, and Brooke) all chipped in and sent me not only two amazingly comfortable undergarments but also cards chock full of dirty jokes! Clearly, these people know what I like. It made me a little sad to think of them getting together and telling dirty jokes without me, but at the same time, it's definitely the best way to celebrate my life. I hope they tell lots of dirty jokes at my funeral.

The cards, plus the one I got from Judith.

Here is my favorite one reproduced for your pleasure:

Dear Elisa,

Words cannot express the tender feelings in my breast. You've been such a supportive friend for so many years that this is hardly tit-for-tat. Still, these large tokens of my esteem take a load of debt off my chest. I mean it's not like I've been racked with guilt about it, but you've poured out jugs of friendly service, and this is really the best I can do, my bosom friend. I miss you loads. I thought of you while eating melons from our garden. Hope Seattle is treating you well. Hang in there.

Chandler

In fact, all the people I like are way better than the people you like. This is proof.

Also fact: my shirts are fitting better than ever. I like to think they are being held up by love.