Collin and I should write a screenplay.

I'm thinking Diablo Cody-infused rom-com, minus the sex.

Him: If he doesn't talk to you, then you're going after the wrong guy, again. And I'm going to tease you, because I have yet to hear about a cool guy that you've pursued.
Me: Hey, hey ...
Him: Mostly I'm thinking about that horribly narcissistic **** guy you were so spellbound by.
Me: Oh gosh. That's my big fear honestly. It's too bad that I go for mysterious slash creative, because that is so often linked to douchebag. I should make a t-shirt that says "NO MORE DOUCHEBAGS" just to remind me.
Him: Yeah, but that makes it sound like you work for a company that supplies douchebags and that you have evidently run out of them.
Me: Shoot, maybe I did.