03 June, 2010

I Can't Believe I Haven't Blogged About X, Day 3: Baseball Metaphors for Love AKA the Three Strikes Rule

A while ago, Bob and I had the following conversation. To provide some background without giving anything away, I had met a boy whom I thought was cool, and then changed my mind about wanting to pursue him (this will all make perfect sense in a minute).

Me: Yeah, no. I'm not going for that anymore.
B: How come?
Me: That was strike three. He's out.
B: I beg your pardon?
Me: You know, my Three Strikes rule. I've told you about that.
B: No, you haven't.
Me: Seriously? Well, did you read my blog entry about it?
B: (silently pitying me for going senile at such a young age)

Whoops. I really thought I had blogged about this at least once. But I checked the archives and ... guess not. Well, here you go. This has the unfortunate potential of being one of those blog entries that is not interesting to anyone but me.

I have a nasty habit of pursuing men long after they have proved to be bad news. Sometimes, they start out nice and then turn mean, and yet I keep mentally returning to the memory of the initial niceness, and inwardly insist that they will likely turn nice again. This never happens.

Other times, the guy is mean to begin with, but I convince myself either that:

1. He is only mean because he is so troubled, and my love will save him OR
2. He is mean, yes, but that only makes it even more worthwhile and exciting when he IS nice and is therefore worth waiting around for.

I don't have to tell you that these never end well, either.

The Three Strikes Rule is something I came up with to combat this irrational and unwise tendency of mine. I am aware it's not exactly reinventing the wheel, but I have bad taste in men*, and for now this is the best I can do.

The Three Strikes Rule is thus:

A boy I think I might be interested in pursuing gets two free passes to pull a boneheaded move (with or without proof of intent). After the third, I walk. Stipulations:

1. The move in question can be a sin of omission (ignoring me at a social event when he knew I was there) or commission (saying or doing something intentionally rude or mean).

2. As I stated above, there needn't be any concrete proof of intent, but the move must be genuinely hurtful and not just a product of my sky-high expectations (not that they're actually sky-high, let's be honest). For example, failing to buy me a present for some pointless occasion is not a strike. Flirting with another girl in front of me is.

3. Any act of physical violence counts as two. And yeah, I know that sounds soft. I never said it was a perfect system.

4. Sometimes the act doesn't have to be hurtful, but rather simple proof that said male is either not interested or interested in other people. Flirting with other women in front of me also falls in this category.

5. "You're out" doesn't have to mean forever, it simply indicates that the subject is not worthy of attention for now. The whole thing restarts after an indeterminate period of time.

I have been honing and practicing the system for approximately a year, and so far it is going OK. The really funny thing is, I don't like or understand baseball at all.

Also, if you are looking for some interesting reading, I highly recommend looking up Wikipedia's article entitled, "Baseball metaphors for sex."

You're welcome.

*With a few exceptions. You know who you are.

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