04 February, 2009

I just had a TERRIBLE experience.

So in case you've been out of the loop, my mom is in love. She's quitting her job and moving to Phoenix this summer to move in with a guy named Dave. I don't know his last name. I'm delighted for her, really, it's just a little strange. He owns two houses and used to raise English Bulldogs as a hobby. My roommates and I speculate that he is actually an Italian count who must marry to keep the family fortune. Whatever. What's really important is that she's happy.

However, there are some things I will NEVER, EVER feel like discussing with my mom. Sex is one of them. I'm sorry! I know it's old-fashioned.

Although, for full disclosure's sake, when I was five and my mom explained to me about sex, I thought it sounded so interesting that I asked her if she had some examples I could watch. True story.

Moving right along...

The other night I was talking to my mom, and she was telling me about the wonderful weekend she had spent with her new beau in Seattle. I was curious, but too afraid to ask, where he had stayed while he was in town. But don't worry. My mom filled me in.

Mom: And then we went out to dinner and back to the hotel, and I don't know what much of this you want to know ... but I stayed with him and--
Me: THAT'S ENOUGH THAT'S ENOUGH THAT'S ENOUGH AUGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Seriously, if I hadn't been driving I think I would have thrown my phone OUT THE WINDOW.

Yes, I'm immature. And it's also embarrassing that my 63 year-old mother is getting more weekend action than I am. Dear Lord.

2 comments:

Ashley said...

Isn't there some unwritten law of the universe that parents and kids don't talk to each other about their own sex lives, EVER? Even when they both know the other one has it?

Seriously?

TheMoncurs said...

Bwahahahaha! Love.

She's moving to Phoenix! That means you can visit her in Phoenix! And then visit me!

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