06 February, 2009

I don't use the internet to be left alone.

I just read this exquisitely heartfelt tribute to the "25 things about Me" fad here, and it actually inspired me to want to write one of my own.

1. I feel terrible about the way things ended with my maternal grandmother. We had never gotten along very well, but that was mostly because she was pissed off that I joined the Church (The Mormon one, I mean) in 1992-ish (?). I cut off all contact with her when I was in high school. Nor did I go to her funeral in 2006, but now I wish I had. The odd thing is, I think I would have gotten along with the young version of her really well. My mom tells me stories about her and she was a lot like me: kinda spacey, creative, loved to dance, had a hard time following rules. I did her temple work for her after I got back from my mission, and although that was nice, I still wish I had reconciled with her while she was alive.

2. For those of you familiar with the MBTI personality test, my favorites types are as follows: INFPs (because that is what I am), ISFPs (both my brothers and a large number of my friends are ISFPs ... I really think it is my favorite to be friends with), ENFJs, and ENFPs.

3. I love mayonnaise. It is my favorite condiment. I like to eat it on peas instead of butter. I know how gross that sounds, and most people find it disconcerting to watch, so I generally eat it when no one else is around. Except Pamela doesn't seem to mind. I love you, Pamela.

4. I have little to no contact with a bogglingly large number of people that I am facebook friends with. However, I will never delete anyone, because having lots of friends makes me feel cool, and I am somewhat voyeuristic by nature. It's a writer thing.

5. I love YA novels. Particularly the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. I like them much better than trashy books written for adults.

6. That said, when I was ten or so, my mom bought me one of those crass Harlequin romance novels, and I read it cover to cover several times. It was there that I learned several crucial anatomical terms that I am too classy to list here. However, if you ask me, I will tell you.

7. As a kid, I loved coffee.

8. Additionally, as a kid I shoplifted fairly regularly, but never liked it. I only did it because one of my cousins made me do her dirty work. I was also never caught.

9. I hate it when people use the word "just" when talking about something very important to them. "I just wanted to say that I know Jesus is the Christ." Just? Just???? I have no impetus to tell anyone else how to bear his or her testimony, but my kids will be forbidden to use such a construction.

10. I probably attach too much significance to language. If you are ever in the doghouse with me, all you have to do is SAY something nice or penitent, and all is forgiven. You don't actually have to DO anything. I know this is foolish, but I doubt it will ever change.

11. There is a certain hallway in the Provo Temple near the Celestial Room, and every single time I walk down it, I feel a strong urge to dance irreverently. If no one else is around, I sometimes do.

12. One time my friend Becca ran over my foot with her car. Incredibly, my foot wasn't broken, although it was very painful.

13. When I was 14 and had the chicken pox, the pustules were concentrated on my face, neck and chest. The first time I looked in the mirror the morning I came down with the pox, I actually screamed. I believe that this was in some form of punishment for being so vain about my skin when I was in middle school.

14. I never learned the multiplication tables. I am absolutely wretched at math. This includes counting. I hate counting out loud or doing math in my head, especially in front of other people. Once, my former elementary school teacher came into a retail store where I worked, and I tried to count her change out for her, and I couldn't do it. I was embarrassed but luckily she was nice about it, otherwise I probably would have lost my job.

15. I never learned how to type. Still can't.

16. I can easily pinpoint the specific time in my life when I was the most miserable. It was in the MTC.

17. I love dinosaurs. I am excited to die so I can go to Heaven and watch movies of real dinosaurs. If this is not possible, I will be a very disappointed dead person.

18. When I was in second grade my mom bought me a training bra even though I had no need for one. I tried wearing it to school one day, but it itched so badly I took it off in the bathroom and stuffed it in my coat pocket. Later that day, on the playground, it fell out.

19. I don't like two-faced-ness (is that a word?). If I don't like someone, I find it impossible to be nice to them. Thus, if I am nice to you, congratulations! I like you. No, really.

20. On New Year's in 2005, I cussed out an old lady in a parking lot, because she was mean to my best friend. To this day, I do not feel bad about this at all.

21. On my mission, I was grabbed and kissed by men in various states of sobriety on eleven different occasions. It averaged out to once a transfer. I kept track of these instances using stickers on the back of my nametag, but when people asked me about them, I said it was to keep track of how many transfers I had been in the country.

22. I cry more often during movies about animals than movies about people. Homeward Bound: the Incredible Journey, for example, makes me cry every single time.

23. I forged several of the signatures on my Honor Society application in high school. Not because I was fibbing, just because I had forgotten to take it around and collect all the signatures I needed. The irony was not lost on me, either.

24. My favorite Hungarian word is: fogcsikorgatás. It means "gnashing of teeth."

25. Adopting my brother in 2003 was my idea. My parents don't like to tell people this, and I've never figured out why.

Well, that was fun. If there is ANYONE in the web-0-sphere who has not yet participated in this little exercise: tag.


Richard Lewis said...

Hello from a complete stranger surfing around. Your mom sounds cool. And I love your number 11--it's a scene I'd like to see in a big movie.

mathistown said...

I can TOTALLY relate to crying more about animals than people! I do this with movies, and real life. I'll be honest, homeless animals make me sadder than orphans. And I feel terrible about it.

Jessica Anna said...

I know I have this alarming habit of saying absolutes, but I absolutely believe at this moment that you are the funniest, classiest super lady. This is hilarious. I never know about those 11 men. I'm going to be IT and blog about my 25 things now. By the way, it was kinda the most comforting thing to read your comment on my blog. I've created this image in my mind that you've kept tabs on my blog for a long time and stop in from time to time to check in on me, like a good big sister. Love you so much. and your nice to me so you must like me, too. Thank goodness.

L'homme Masqued said...

That number 11 is sublime. I think I am going to be overcome by that feeling next time I'm in the Temple...

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