01 December, 2009

Curbing the addiction!

I have a swearing problem, guys!

Okay, so it might not be as bad as some characters on cable TV. But I do swear more than I would like. The fact is, swear words are so damn convenient (AUGHHHHHHH). They make an excellent shortcut towards humor, or an expression of raw emotion that is so much easier than actual "writing about how I feel/actually being funny."

I need to become so talented a writer that I won't need to swear in order to make myself heard.

But until that day dawns, I am going to stop swearing.

Here are my swearing stats on this blog:

F-word: 0 (Good ... I really don't like that word, to be honest)
S-word: 4
A-word: 3
B-word: 3
D-word: 5 (damn, for the record)
H-word: 6 (more instances were found, but the others were in socially acceptable contexts)
C-word: 0 (I hate that word)
Other C-word: 0 (I hate that one even more)

Total: 21 instances
Total blog posts: 189
That's .1111111111 cuss for every blog post written, which doesn't sound too bad.

However, let's assume that I'm more careful about what I write than what I say (true) and quadruple that sucker.

That means I say approximately .444444444 swear words whenever I speak, ever.

Frankly, that doesn't sound that bad, either. But it's enough to bother me.

My strategy: for every time I swear, I have to do eight minutes of crunches.

Today I owe 16 minutes.

By the end of this I will either have curbed my swearing problem or have SEXY abs.

Hopefully both.


Grant said...

I only know of one C word, and it's so rarely used it doesn't really seem like a swear word. I don't think something can be a swear word that you didn't hear for the first time until your 20s.

eden said...

i occasionally use damn or hell myself - mostly just for the reaction. it's pretty funny sometimes. however, i've been curbing that as well.

good luck to you!

Elisa said...

Grant, since you asked, the two C words I am referring to are c*ck and c*nt. I hate both of them.

I must know what you were thinking of though.

theFinn said...

Which B word? The one demeaning to females, or the one demeaning to both males AND their mothers?

L'homme pressé said...

Bastards isn;t a swear word. Bitch isn;t anymore either. They are really nice words I think because they have the enimity and disgust of swear but without the crudeness. But, we've already had this discussion.

Regarding crunches nd ab work outs, don;t do them every day. You wanna do them 2-3 times a week, a little harder and then your muscles will have time to heal. Sometimes a little less is more, its the same with swearing.

Elisa said...

Fact: I use bitch as a verb without any guilt. But I don't like it when someone calls me a bitch = probably not a good thing for me to call others.

Rachel S said...

Wow. I must be sheltered. I still don't know the c-words. Also, I do not think damn and hell are swear words. But I certainly wouldn't want to hear them from my son. Perhaps that should be my standard.

Rachel. said...

hopefully both indeed.

once in a summertime during my high school years my brother and I played ping pong every day. the rule was that whoever lost had to do 100 reps of jumprope. I wasn't very good at ping pong, but the following fall I beat my high school's jump rope record in the presidential fitness test. boo yah!