02 September, 2011

From the archives: September 2, 2004

Humorous quotes from my professors! *cymbal crash*

"English spelling is ... disgusting."
Professor Skousen

"'Whom did you see at the dance?' Now you could say this, maybe to one of your rommates. But you would be branded as some sort of weird ... English Major or something."
Professor Skousen

"I don't know what it is with Mormons and food. Have any of you ever been to a church activity, not including the three-hour block on Sunday, wherein there was no food available? Anybody? [no one in the class of 250 raises their hand]. See? Also, I've noticed that we tend to substitute ice cream for alcohol. You know, normal people, if they want to go out casually with someone of the opposite sex, they go out for drinks. But Mormons, they hit up Baskin and Robbins for a quick ice cream, and if they don't like each other, they just take off."
Professor Campbell

"I am proud to say that I missed my grandfather's funeral to attend class out of fear of missing school. Grandpa was proud too, I suspect, since he taught school in Canada, back when going to school was an honor."
Professor Sorenson

"Welcome to English 325. English grammar. How thrilling."
Professor Skousen

"I did not choose to major in Philosophy, nay, but rather I realized that I had been a philosopher all along and just did not realize it. This is not a career path that one would consciously choose. If I could, I'd be really good at ... business. Or something."
Professor Foster

"The death penalty, you have to admit, caters to this Old Testament sense of justice that we use only when it suits our purposes. Really, I don't see any point in killing more people after the fact, especially since we let them live twenty years before we do it anyway."
Professor Sorenson

"Thank you so much for coming to this department meeting! Please help yourself to the refreshments available out in the open-air atrium ... and by that I mean the sidewalk."
The Department Head (I didn't catch his name, or else I just forgot it)

3 comments:

theFinn said...

Is that the same Sorenson who wore suspenders and played Elton John songs on the piano in class? The one who was so old and sickly that we got worried he had died every time we saw the paramedics on campus?

Elisa said...

THE VERY SAME! He is almost certainly dead by now. That makes me sad.

Cassandra said...

I once used "whom" properly in a sentence and was promptly discouraged from asking any more questions with a "Whom?! Get out of here with your 'Whom'." And I'm not an English major. I just like to read. >shame<

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