When I die, assuming I do not outlive my good friend Ashley, she plans to eulogize me as follows:
"Elisa had a gigantic rack, and no butt."
Then she will sit down and people will wonder if they are being punk'd. I love the idea of my last concrete influence on earth being a surreal experience. I like to make life a little bit surreal every day as it is. Which is why I gave this eulogy the green light when Ashley and I were serving as missionaries together in Pécs.
She's right, unfortunately. I am overall a curvaceous person, but my butt is embarrassingly flat. This breaks my heart a little bit every day. This is also the reason why I don't wear pants very often.
Sadly, the only way to obtain a more voluptuous backside involves gaining weight, and I certainly don't want to do that.
I am resigned to a life of never fully enjoying the following songs (NSFW):
This one is by far the best video.
Luckily, I can still enjoy this because it makes no reference to size. Good thing, because this one of the best movies of all time.