02 June, 2009

I can't believe I haven't blogged about this experience.

Today I participated in a research study that measured heart rate in relation to oxygen consumption. It involved running on a treadmill for ten minutes with an oxygen mask strapped to my head. It was actually pretty fun. And interesting. If anyone is interested in my MAX VO2 levels I have it on a computer printout. Also they gave me ten dollars.*

Afterwards I was in the women's locker room changing into my street clothes when I remembered an interesting thing that happened to me a few years ago. I thought I had blogged about it before, but it turns out I have not. So I will share this experience with you now.

It was my sophomore year of college, when I still had foolish and impractical ideas like "it would be more fun to take three half-credit classes to fulfill my physical education/health credit than take one three-credit class." Idiot! This philosophy has since evolved into "how can I get out of here as quickly as possible? and is there a faster option than that?" I realize this is not a very admirable attitude, but we'll save the discussion re: the flaws in our American educational system for another day.

So anyway, I was taking a PE class called either "everyday fitness" or "weight management." I honestly can't remember. It was just like high school PE in that we met three times a week and played various sports. It was at nine in the morning, and this was before I had a car so it required me to wake up quite early to get there on time. Eventually I lost motivation to do so and ended up failing the class. This was before that.

One day after class was over, I was in the locker room changing into street clothes. This was the semester I took 18 credits and worked for EiZ, so I was on campus all day, every day. I always brought a lunch with me rather than buying a lunch: generally a peanut butter sandwich and several assorted baggies of rabbit food such as nuts, raisins, carrots, et al. That day, as other days, I had brought a peanut butter sandwich with me, and had removed it from my backpack so it wouldn't get squished by my running shoes. It sat that on top of my backpack while I stood next to it and put on my jeans.

Until a girl, about my age, wearing a leotard and tights, walked by me as I stood there changing. I watched her as she paused, then grabbed my peanut butter sandwich and walked away! She was literally right next to me when she did this.

I was so shocked at what happened I didn't even confront her. I just stood there as she walked away with my sandwich. I was very hungry that day, with only baggies of rabbit food to eat.

I can think of several explanations for this strange behavior:

1. She thought my backpack was hers, and that she was grabbing her own property. That really doesn't make any sense seeing as she had clearly locked her stuff away elsewhere
(she was walking to class in dance clothes), and I was clearly standing next to that backpack, as its owner.

2. She thought I had stolen her sandwich from her stuff. I don't know what might have lead to her believing that.

3. She was a spy and an enemy had planted an explosive in my sandwich while I was in class.

4. She was starving to death and didn't care about morality anymore. She was a ballet dancer so that makes sense.

5. She figured I didn't want the sandwich since it was just sitting there.

Because I was 19 and non-confrontational, and also completely confused by this incident, I just let her walk away as she pleased. Sadly, I will probably never know the motivation for this act of sandwich terrorism. However, if she ever reads this, I hope she will do me the courtesy of commenting and explaining why she was taking my sandwich to a starving orphan in Bolivia who needed it more than I did. Or whatever.

*I should say that it was actually a ten dollar gift certificate to Legends Grille on campus. I think they sell hamburgers and such.


TheMoncurs said...

I can't believe you didn't say anything! I'm so possessive and weird about my food..I probably would have tackled her. NO ONE touches my pb sandwich, fool.

Ashley said...

How truly WEIRD!

In a BYU locker room, no less!

Personally, I think a sandwich is a pretty risky article to steal. What if it's something you think is nasty, or that you're allergic to? How could she know what was waiting for her between those innocent-looking slices of bread? Clearly, she wasn't with it on a couple of levels.

Random stuff happens to you, man. Remember the time we were on our way to see Magdi and that gypsy stopped us es ruhat keresett es mint ha ez nem volt eleg o azt mondta, hogy duci vagy!! Seriously?! Come on, seriously?!

mathistown said...

weirdest. thing. ever. well, not ever, but it's weird. what the what? i wish we could know what her thoughts were.

also, do you recall that i used to work at legends grill? it's quite good, and you should think of me when you go there. let us know how that goes!

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