23 January, 2009

"I ate cereal today."

I read a very funny article by a very funny woman today. Her name is Kate Harding and I think she is great. I read her stirring social commentary on body image and culture here, which led me to her blog here. Her witty and charming prose only proves further what we all secretly think, but are loath to admit in a public forum: the funniest people on earth are Jews, American Indians and fat people. If one can be some combination of the three, even better. And if someone is lucky enough to be all three, like me, that is pretty much the jackpot of life. Except instead of getting coins poured into your lap, you get a lifetime of waxing dark hair, pouring yourself into skinny jeans and receiving hundreds of dollars from the government, no strings attached.

Fact: I don't actually receive any money from the government. It's cool. I would probably just spend it on alcohol anyway. I wish I could get paid for writing though, like Kate Harding does. Did you know that some people get paid for blogging? I did, too. But it makes me mad with jealousy every time I think about it.

What an offensive blog entry! I only wanted to write about cereal. Or rather, that Kate Harding's husband refers to most personal blogs as "I-ate-cereal-today" blogs. As soon as I read that, I started to panic. Is that me? Do I only write about the inane trivialities of my life that no one except my friends and my in-laws, if I had any, could ever possibly want to read?

Here is another fact. I was sick last week and most of this week, and missed almost all of my classes. Today in my Shakespeare class, my professor mentioned that last week there had been an entire class period devoted to concision. Irony aside, I really could have used that. I picked a very bad fortnight to be ill.

Where was I? Oh yeah. Is my blog boring. I don't know. I write about things that are interesting to me. My friends are generally people with common interests, which is the way it goes, so they say my blog is interesting, but perhaps they just don't want to hurt my feelings. It is also important to consider that 100 percent of my friends think Seinfeld is funny. Seinfeld has made an immensely lucrative career out of the inane trivialities of life. Also, Jerry Seinfield is Jewish. Also, Jason Alexander could arguably be considered fat, but I do not mean that as an insult at all. I deeply admire his tireless service on behalf of the Scleroderma Foundation. True story.

The only reason why I am insecure about my blog being an "I-ate-cereal" today blog is that no stranger has ever commented on it, with the one exception of this entry right here. Check out the comments. What a lively little discussion! Although I don't understand the crack about Australians. If my writing were more interesting or more controversial, other people would comment. Sigh. I will never be cool.

However, if you choose to be offended by any of the things I said above, please go ahead.


TheMoncurs said...

That's probably because you don't have a lot of strangers reading your blog. You have to read and comment on a bunch of blogs, preferably people you don't know. Those who write those blogs and others who read the comments will end up here. And voila! Strangers! I used to put effort into building my readership. Then I realized it didn't matter and I didn't care. I only get the occasional stranger comment now.

word verification: Pantie. Awesome.

Ashley said...

You don't have an "I-ate-cereal" blog.

And I don't think that because I'm biased.

theFinn said...

Since when are American Indians funny? That "Dances With Wolves" puts me in stitches every time...

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