Today I eavesdropped on a blog discussion between my friend Kayla, whom I know personally, and local celebrities Janssen and Ralphie, neither of whom I know personally, but I saw their blogs on my recommended feeds a while ago, had a gander and got hooked (hope you don't think I'm trying to steal your friends, Kay ... honestly, I just think they're both funny). Thanks, Google Reader! Anyway, the subject was how some people differ from their blog or general internet persona in real life. An interesting question indeed.
I remember when I became facebook friends with my best friend from first/second grade, a girl with a cleft palate named Jean. She was partially deaf, wore hearing aids, had a very difficult time speaking intelligibly ... in other words, not exactly the epitome of elementary school cool. Although I remember being jealous of her hearing aids. But I was a really weird kid.
Anyway, fast forward ten plus years later. We hook up on facebook, I discover she's finishing her undergrad at Rutger's and applying for law schools (niiiiice) and in her about me or somewhere like that she described herself as "amazingly self-assured."
I couldn't believe it. Granted, people are allowed to change from their elementary school personae. Thank God. But I couldn't figure out if she had changed that much, or her perception of herself had changed. Fascinating stuff.
Anyway, I got to think about how I am different as a blog writer (sorry, I can't bring myself to use the term "blogger" when referring to myself ... maybe in a couple years), and I figured that there are definitely some differences.
1. On my blog, I have what is called a DELETE key. I love this key. It means I can say something weird or stupid and erase it and NO ONE will EVER know it was me. As far as I know, no one has yet devised a computer program that can bring back all deleted text from a computer. And if there is I don't want to hear about it.
In real life, I have no filter between what goes on in my brain and what comes out of my mouth in a conversation setting. Not Tourette's, mind you. If all is silence, I am also silent. But in a conversation I don't realize that something I've said is a bad choice until after the fact.
A few real life examples:
Me (about to start my Sunday School lesson): I didn't realize that new people would be moving in already.
Sam: me neither.
Sheri: I thought it would be in a few weeks or so.
Me: Yeah totally. Although it's cool to meet new peo-- (good looking guy walks by) wow, he is so cute.
My entire Sunday School class: ?????????
My friend Chandler who is a granola type and sometimes smells kinda funny: Hey, I wanted to come and say good-bye before I leave for Chicago.
(we hug platonically)
Me: You smell like you've had a good day.
Oh man. So when I write in my blog, I do sometimes say things that are silly, but I am not nearly as unintentionally rude/inappropriate/foot-in-mouthed.
2. Everyone else said that they are initially pretty quiet, and are much more outgoing/funny on their blog. I would say that I am by nature a thoughtful person, but in public I get nervous and crack jokes to save face. So I am actually much more myself (introspective, thoughtful, ponderous, etc.) on my blog. Which is reason number five hundred and sixty two why writing keeps me sane. Otherwise I would just be the loud girl who makes dumb jokes and never has anything enlightening to say.
3. I love my job even though it drives me crazy. That isn't to say that I'm not excited to get a new job. But I feel like the Angry Nanny at lot of the time, and this job has actually been really good to me. I have learned things like patience, and other such celestial virtues.
4. I have a mild speech impediment/accent that comes out when I'm nervous. My friends on the mission made fun of this a great deal. You can as well. I can take it.
5. I think, but I am not thoroughly convinced, that my life is a lot cooler than it sounds when I write about it. OK, maybe I have enough free time to blog about everything now (we'll see what happens when school starts again) but I actually lead a full, happy, life, filled with service and intellectual stimulation, just minus the boyfriend. Nevertheless, I am pleased with most aspects of it.
6. I have time to choose the most fit and apt words when I blog, and thus, my vocabulary as a writer is much more impressive.
7. Kinda tandem with 3, or at least along a similar vein, I loved my mission. Did I want to go? No. Was it a walk in the park? Heck no. Was it anything like I expected? Not in the least. Would I do it again? Only if someone dear to me were threatened. And I'm talking blood relatives here. Many of you reading this blog would die if your life hung on the balance of my serving another mission. Sorry.
But was it the most amazing experience of my life? Yep. Am I glad I went? My goodness yes.
8. Contrary to many photos, my skin is more white than pink in real life.
9. I am indeed an avid list-maker, a list enthusiast if you will, but probably slightly less so in real life.
10. I think I swear more in my blog than in real life. But I've never really bothered to keep track.